I Like Sketching

I don't draw because I think I am good at it. I draw because I can, and have fun doing it. I do not need to be 'judged' because I am 'having fun' lol - meanwhile I am currently having a tad overload of 'fun' by depicting the more 'morbid' aspects of Star Wars - with Jango Fett losing his head (*cough*) which the below NyubNyub-Trooper sketch was from a suggestion by Wern.u Leong on my Facebook (yes, I pilfered his initial idea and ran with it. Go ahead, spank me with a severed Ewok-paw muahahahaha).


Being able to sketch has been pretty cathartic for me lately - and I have been sketching a whole lot - why? Because I have been both pushing myself, and letting myself go into doing something I had extremely loved to do since I was a pimply teenager a lifetime ago - but had failed to for the past few decades …

Having changed direction from wanting to be involved in comicbooks and graphics, to being an interior designer, and subsequently designing for media, while totally forgetting whatever anatomical-skills I had had before (which frankly wasn't mind-blowing in the first place muahahaha) - I had near forgotten what had provided me 'joy', and as well a dream that spurred me on, beyond the regular teen-angst and a deep-seated self-esteem issues, which were 'freed' when I sketched. My escape from reality. My oasis of dreams.


[Above: Anime Villains / Below: Chibi Villains]

And especially since my Stroke nearly a year ago (Yes the one year anniversary is coming up!) - my master-hand (which was affected by the Stroke - stiffened up, as it were) has not exactly been the most easily controlled aspect of my body, along with my ability to walk straight.

Punching keys on the laptop is a totally different thing altogether (which I first 'conquered' after getting out of the hospital ;p), but wielding a brush or pen? I can force a stride, but I cannot force a delicate brush-stroke accurately. It is both infuriating and frustrating, because I could not achieve the brush-stroke I want or aim for whenever I sketch something. These days, most times I still can not. But you know what? 'Whining' about it ain't gonna make anything better or smoother - so i draw, and draw, and draw!


[Photoshop Is My Friend lol]

Regardless of my obvious lack of skill or ability, I find myself sketching "freer" than I did a year ago (I did "shapes" but nothing beyond the harshness of), and hell, I am having the time of my life "creating" something, other than "regurgitating" (aka "blogging about other folks works" - I'm not complaining tho, but tis a different notion, you know?).


So yes, Ima gonna be sketching more and more in time to come, and hopefully one day I will attempt coloring - which means "painting", beyond my mostly-dried-up Copic Markers (heehee) - for which it is something I've never been practicing in my adult years, but hell I scored myself an A2 in me 'O'Levels decades back from my painting (and as well scored me a place in an arts collage), so I am praying THAT did not leave me completely! LOL (P/S#1: I say all of these also to 'pep' myself up and nothing beyond that ;p).

The sense of "freedom" might be different from person to person, and perhaps the freedom of independence I feel for it might not be understood by all, but that is something I cannot personally control nor convey - and I do not think I need to, nobody ever needs to (unless you feel you have to, because you make a living from it?), I just enjoy drawing/sketching/doodling and I do it most for myself. And if you cannot enjoy it for yourself, then why do it in the first place, isn't it? Naive of me to think that way? Yes, of course! LOL

Ah hell, I love sketching. And I am re-learning to love it all over again :)


(P/S#2: Shown here are a smattering of sketches I have been doing recently - not to show off or anything, but perhaps to help folks start or continue doodling and enjoy what they do. I can do it, so can you! Why do you think I've been having so much illustration-contests, yeh? I wanna see YOUR drawings for them too! LOL)