> this alien realm of mine

... this self-alienation, this gnawing-itch, this uncontrollable urge to ... create ... to create my own world, my own domain where i am lord of myself and of my own actions, where others and what they think matters naught, where sincerity is a virtue and not to be misunderstood. where concern for a fellow humanbeing is not a act of malice. where clarity resides in all thoughts and intentions ...

but i know i am being naive. i know i am dreaming an impossible dream. for my realm rests not fully within my grasp. where my self is not my own ... you are who what other people perceive you to be. true or false, it matters not. explain your life away and all it comes down to: excuses.

and as i grudgingly retreat within my own tattered-domain once more, i look back with a phantom tear and a shrug, and know that until my own world is in order, then shall i venture out into new frontiers ... again ...

and i will build. i will create my own empire ... sat atop my throne of self-righteousness and false-pride ... and i would be but alone once more ... so be it.


(*fist-waving-rant while waiting for my video to be uploaded ... truth or fiction? nobody really knows, innit? heh :p *)