> snippets of my monday past
i keep telling myself:
log off.
go do your work.
so you can get more sleep.
so you have energy to work the next day, becoz you'll need it.
and of coz i have failed yet again. and a third entry for the night is churned out of the gloomycookiecutterfactory and i ramble on for the sake of rambling on, most likely becoz i long for the days and nights when i could ramble on and not worry much about the consequences of the next waking day ... and with every letter i pound unto the keyboards that appear miraculously unto my 17-inch-screen, so too i pound every inch of rusted nails unto my forsaken coffin filled with unrequited sanity and general health-being ... and yet i pound away so still ...
mayhap i should entertain/entrall/confuse thee readers with some snippets of me monday past:
[1] walked around with much mondo-moolah today (props money - all five figures' worth), more so than i have ever had themisfortune to have been in physical contact with, for quite a freeking while now ... and the suspended dread of it being used up within the next few days. am scared shitless i am.
- me and money, do not go down well together; no we do not.
[2] got more attention than i bargained for, when i shopped/sourced for props along North Bridge Road today, what with the varied ladies working in the costume jewelryshops joking/laughing along/lavishing smiles and attention on me (or i'd like to think so lor *bleh*) - when i mentioned i was looking for props for a shoot.
or maybe t'was myporn-looking fuzzy-beard?
[3] hilariously zoing around Spotlight (at Plaza Sing) in the evening, holding a basket full of dangly-crystal-thingies and four bales of fabric hanging out of it; waiting to be cut to the size that i could afford = for my props. and bumping into the gorgeous Lady D *cough*papereskimo*cough* ... and of coz me in my utmost blurrrrrness and slurred spiel rambling away incoherently (have always stuttered around gorgeous ladies *wink*) like a teenage boy (and THATZ quite a stretch of memorylanes, ladies and gentlemen) and ended up in queue wondering if it was all just a dream? hhhmmm ...
and if you're readin' this Lady D? grrrreat seein' youse again, fer shure! and good luck for your interview/job, okie? :)
[4] amazed and articulated it out loud, that there were newly installedbutt-fugly green-seats outside the ground-level facing 7-11! KAOZ! can no need to sit on pavement to smoke lieow! (which of coz i still did, coz there weren't any seats left *bleh*)
[5] "conveniantly" walking past the Yunan Haircare salon; twice - hoping against hope tostalk bump into blinkymummy (dun dare put link, sekali i kana scold :p) ... realizing that my online/bloglife has suddenly "invaded" into my offline-consciousness and everything i see and hear and feel = is a blurred line between what's physically in front of me, or blog-fodder. nahbey.
irony is:
physical encounter with a blogger (who wasn't already a pre-blog-fren) = 01 (Mr.Brown)
dream encounter with a blogger = 01 (Linda Chia of Air)
and thatz IT baby! ... and they say blogging is a lonely pursuit ... heh ... *bleh* :/
[6] of feeling lucky to have peeps i know, working with me. and forcing myself to "delegate" and to not take things upon myself ... but tis a hard and unfamiliar path to thread ... and i thread as carefully as i can ...
[7] of the final spurt of anger and indignity to haveta standup for myself, amidst callously flying allegations against my efforts and style of work. i am incompetent in the eyes of those who matter ... and that actually saddens me so ... and i chose to keep my blardy mouth shut ... i so tire of confrontations ... not least tis with someone whose opinions suddenly matter to me more ... haveta re-learn "control" as well too and soon, i tell myself, i really do ... dammit.
children? never mix business wif pleasure. tis a bad dramedy in the making, i assure youse all ...
[8] struggling with the choice of either: [a] work now and die a miserable death tomorrow/later in the day due to lack of sleep and energy ... or [b] sleep now and wake up early to finishup what needs to be done (fully knowing it might not happen at all) ... and at the end of this sentence and notion; tis but a 50/50-chance either way, innit?
[9] knowing well too i haveta go for my medical checkup and to get new pills, for i fear my health actingup in the next coupla weeks. i know not what my body is capable of anymore and i am scared. dammit.
but time is something i do not have.
and yet im still online?
FUCK.ME.
[10] realizing that LUSH.fm (local radio station) RAWKS! ... them djs sure as heck KNOW what they be doin', innit? makes me wish now that the east (or at least where im at) CAN receive radio ... dammit.
okay, im done (for now) ... i go sleep now. BAH.
log off.
go do your work.
so you can get more sleep.
so you have energy to work the next day, becoz you'll need it.
and of coz i have failed yet again. and a third entry for the night is churned out of the gloomycookiecutterfactory and i ramble on for the sake of rambling on, most likely becoz i long for the days and nights when i could ramble on and not worry much about the consequences of the next waking day ... and with every letter i pound unto the keyboards that appear miraculously unto my 17-inch-screen, so too i pound every inch of rusted nails unto my forsaken coffin filled with unrequited sanity and general health-being ... and yet i pound away so still ...
mayhap i should entertain/entrall/confuse thee readers with some snippets of me monday past:
[1] walked around with much mondo-moolah today (props money - all five figures' worth), more so than i have ever had the
- me and money, do not go down well together; no we do not.
[2] got more attention than i bargained for, when i shopped/sourced for props along North Bridge Road today, what with the varied ladies working in the costume jewelryshops joking/laughing along/lavishing smiles and attention on me (or i'd like to think so lor *bleh*) - when i mentioned i was looking for props for a shoot.
or maybe t'was my
[3] hilariously zoing around Spotlight (at Plaza Sing) in the evening, holding a basket full of dangly-crystal-thingies and four bales of fabric hanging out of it; waiting to be cut to the size that i could afford = for my props. and bumping into the gorgeous Lady D *cough*papereskimo*cough* ... and of coz me in my utmost blurrrrrness and slurred spiel rambling away incoherently (have always stuttered around gorgeous ladies *wink*) like a teenage boy (and THATZ quite a stretch of memorylanes, ladies and gentlemen) and ended up in queue wondering if it was all just a dream? hhhmmm ...
and if you're readin' this Lady D? grrrreat seein' youse again, fer shure! and good luck for your interview/job, okie? :)
[4] amazed and articulated it out loud, that there were newly installed
[5] "conveniantly" walking past the Yunan Haircare salon; twice - hoping against hope to
irony is:
physical encounter with a blogger (who wasn't already a pre-blog-fren) = 01 (Mr.Brown)
dream encounter with a blogger = 01 (Linda Chia of Air)
and thatz IT baby! ... and they say blogging is a lonely pursuit ... heh ... *bleh* :/
[6] of feeling lucky to have peeps i know, working with me. and forcing myself to "delegate" and to not take things upon myself ... but tis a hard and unfamiliar path to thread ... and i thread as carefully as i can ...
[7] of the final spurt of anger and indignity to haveta standup for myself, amidst callously flying allegations against my efforts and style of work. i am incompetent in the eyes of those who matter ... and that actually saddens me so ... and i chose to keep my blardy mouth shut ... i so tire of confrontations ... not least tis with someone whose opinions suddenly matter to me more ... haveta re-learn "control" as well too and soon, i tell myself, i really do ... dammit.
children? never mix business wif pleasure. tis a bad dramedy in the making, i assure youse all ...
[8] struggling with the choice of either: [a] work now and die a miserable death tomorrow/later in the day due to lack of sleep and energy ... or [b] sleep now and wake up early to finishup what needs to be done (fully knowing it might not happen at all) ... and at the end of this sentence and notion; tis but a 50/50-chance either way, innit?
[9] knowing well too i haveta go for my medical checkup and to get new pills, for i fear my health actingup in the next coupla weeks. i know not what my body is capable of anymore and i am scared. dammit.
but time is something i do not have.
and yet im still online?
FUCK.ME.
[10] realizing that LUSH.fm (local radio station) RAWKS! ... them djs sure as heck KNOW what they be doin', innit? makes me wish now that the east (or at least where im at) CAN receive radio ... dammit.
okay, im done (for now) ... i go sleep now. BAH.
