> the proud the aching few
felt something rare today. something i've not felt for quite a while now. from something as simple and minute as it seems.
i did six rounds round the RT track today without much incidence. and with energy to spare. quite a leap from the initial run i whined about when i saw stars and shitte, just saturday last. tonight i mantained and finished it all. and i am proud of myself. i feel good. i smile.
and tho both my knees ached like a biatch (suspected rheumatism, with rain and the cold weather = hey! im not getting any younger innit? hahaha :p) i pulled up my socks and ran. i even paced myself. and tho it was a bitch and wuz tired like fcuk, i still did not give up and i figured i could've ran another round. but let's not push it eh? hahaha still have saturday to go, yeah! and basically another 6weeks to go! (damn) but am enjoying this sudden surge of energy and alertness im feeling right now at 15minutes to midnite. i smile again.
i've never been an athletic guy. im never any good at sports. maybe tis becoz im lazy or fact is: im just plain out of shape (and i dun mean just my sexxay bodycontours, yeah? nyak :p) and my stamina's waning. i remembered in secondary school, i actually joined the "athletic's club" - quite the irony that. of coz i didnt last more than a coupla sessions. other than that, the only other "sport" i do partake in; was badminton. it sure as heck stretches every bloody part of me body! i miss badminton. but itz a bitch to get regular kakis for it tho. last time i ever maintained a "regime" was near 2-3years back? when i played regularly with an ex-gf. and sometimes with her mum. she kicked my butt of coz (her mum). heh. and i remember ever playing squash eons back, also with another ex-gf. but that was near a decade ago. heh. but nowsadays, even if i "think" of picking up a sport, or where i left off = i don't. my mind is weak. and i'd rather maintain the status quo and indulge in whatever else i want to, ANYTHING besides sports. heck, i dun even swim! becoz i dunno how to. and i hate water. in fact, i fear it so. another mortal fear: fear of drowning. the excuse being - i nearly did, during secondary school = when a bunch frens threw me into the deep end of the pool at a condo. i struggled and gulped water. a lot of water. until someone pulled me up, realizing that i actually "might not be able to swim"? muthafcukers all. funny thing is: the dude who saved me? kicked me later on at the side of the pool! apparently, as he dove in to save me, i was struggling so hard; i basically kicked him in his balls! AHAHAAHHAHAAH fcuker deserved it, he did! he suggested throwing me in in the first place! nyaknyaknyak ... the foolishness of youth, fcuks over the rest of an innocent adult's life. heh :p
and so here i am, grudgingly forced by the nation's army; to come to this twice weekly (for 4 weeks) and eventual thrice weekly (for another 4weeks) sessions, to test the fcuking limits of my body. okay, okay, to "help me loose weight" - as i am placed in the "orange tag" catergory = meaning im "not tall enough"! hahaha basically itz just the gahmen's new way to "motivate" us hapless peeps who are overweight lah. the measurement of BMI (Body Mass Index) whereby our "condition" is measured by our height and our weight. twats. but hey, im grateful! the training so far hasn't been that bad! not as terok as the other dudes! basically tis becoz we "orange taggers" aren't seriously expected to pass the IPPT lah, we are there to loose weight first. which is cool. helps loads tho. becoz with my current body ability, i sure as heck can't take that sorta punishment immediately, yeah? hahahaha or maybe im just self-sabotaging myself lah. but we'll see...
to say that im looking forward to this saturday's session and the many sessions after that - would be preposterous and foolish of me! i know myself all too well (i think). to me, it is just a massive bloody waste of time, innit? some farts are saying im not fit enuff to "defend the nation"? and i haveta, BY LAW do alla this? then wheres they when i needta put food on the table? to provide for myself? to earn moolah? i haveta lookout for work schedules if they clash with my RT schedules, if i can ever take up any job or gig offers. and it bites. but somehow it'll work out, i reckon. for what else can i do about it? im here/there and 8weeks is 8weeks. so (as i try to tell and psych myself every bloodyfcukinsession) might as well make the most of my time in RT, eh? heh ... one babystep at a time, one round around the field at a time. and i completed six today. i am proud of myself. and i smile yet again.
i did six rounds round the RT track today without much incidence. and with energy to spare. quite a leap from the initial run i whined about when i saw stars and shitte, just saturday last. tonight i mantained and finished it all. and i am proud of myself. i feel good. i smile.
and tho both my knees ached like a biatch (suspected rheumatism, with rain and the cold weather = hey! im not getting any younger innit? hahaha :p) i pulled up my socks and ran. i even paced myself. and tho it was a bitch and wuz tired like fcuk, i still did not give up and i figured i could've ran another round. but let's not push it eh? hahaha still have saturday to go, yeah! and basically another 6weeks to go! (damn) but am enjoying this sudden surge of energy and alertness im feeling right now at 15minutes to midnite. i smile again.
i've never been an athletic guy. im never any good at sports. maybe tis becoz im lazy or fact is: im just plain out of shape (and i dun mean just my sexxay bodycontours, yeah? nyak :p) and my stamina's waning. i remembered in secondary school, i actually joined the "athletic's club" - quite the irony that. of coz i didnt last more than a coupla sessions. other than that, the only other "sport" i do partake in; was badminton. it sure as heck stretches every bloody part of me body! i miss badminton. but itz a bitch to get regular kakis for it tho. last time i ever maintained a "regime" was near 2-3years back? when i played regularly with an ex-gf. and sometimes with her mum. she kicked my butt of coz (her mum). heh. and i remember ever playing squash eons back, also with another ex-gf. but that was near a decade ago. heh. but nowsadays, even if i "think" of picking up a sport, or where i left off = i don't. my mind is weak. and i'd rather maintain the status quo and indulge in whatever else i want to, ANYTHING besides sports. heck, i dun even swim! becoz i dunno how to. and i hate water. in fact, i fear it so. another mortal fear: fear of drowning. the excuse being - i nearly did, during secondary school = when a bunch frens threw me into the deep end of the pool at a condo. i struggled and gulped water. a lot of water. until someone pulled me up, realizing that i actually "might not be able to swim"? muthafcukers all. funny thing is: the dude who saved me? kicked me later on at the side of the pool! apparently, as he dove in to save me, i was struggling so hard; i basically kicked him in his balls! AHAHAAHHAHAAH fcuker deserved it, he did! he suggested throwing me in in the first place! nyaknyaknyak ... the foolishness of youth, fcuks over the rest of an innocent adult's life. heh :p
and so here i am, grudgingly forced by the nation's army; to come to this twice weekly (for 4 weeks) and eventual thrice weekly (for another 4weeks) sessions, to test the fcuking limits of my body. okay, okay, to "help me loose weight" - as i am placed in the "orange tag" catergory = meaning im "not tall enough"! hahaha basically itz just the gahmen's new way to "motivate" us hapless peeps who are overweight lah. the measurement of BMI (Body Mass Index) whereby our "condition" is measured by our height and our weight. twats. but hey, im grateful! the training so far hasn't been that bad! not as terok as the other dudes! basically tis becoz we "orange taggers" aren't seriously expected to pass the IPPT lah, we are there to loose weight first. which is cool. helps loads tho. becoz with my current body ability, i sure as heck can't take that sorta punishment immediately, yeah? hahahaha or maybe im just self-sabotaging myself lah. but we'll see...
to say that im looking forward to this saturday's session and the many sessions after that - would be preposterous and foolish of me! i know myself all too well (i think). to me, it is just a massive bloody waste of time, innit? some farts are saying im not fit enuff to "defend the nation"? and i haveta, BY LAW do alla this? then wheres they when i needta put food on the table? to provide for myself? to earn moolah? i haveta lookout for work schedules if they clash with my RT schedules, if i can ever take up any job or gig offers. and it bites. but somehow it'll work out, i reckon. for what else can i do about it? im here/there and 8weeks is 8weeks. so (as i try to tell and psych myself every bloodyfcukinsession) might as well make the most of my time in RT, eh? heh ... one babystep at a time, one round around the field at a time. and i completed six today. i am proud of myself. and i smile yet again.
