> think money
a line in Julia Fordham's Where Does The Time Go; goes:
"If I could have a pound for every moment I've spent worrying
On all the little things in life that frankly there's no hurrying
Then I would be a rich girl I wanna be a rich girl soon ..."
now, i have my own personal opinions on "things in life" that needs to be hurried a tinsy-bit and im obviously not a girl (duh) ... but i sure as heck wanna be RICH - GAWDDAMMIT! better sooner; than later, of coz ... and if i could have a "pound" (sterling, Yen, USDollars or SGDollars or any gawddamnedcurrency) for every moment i've spent "worrying", i'd be a muthafcuking GAZILLIONAIRE by now!
would you believe a person can think non-stop whenever he/she is awake? when there isn't even a moment of pause? of coz there are distractions, but what im trying to say is: continuously thinking / creating / imagining / worrying of a particular something or somewhen or somewhere or someone, and ya can't stop? (deja-vu moment here = have i ever typed this somewhere else before? ... ... ... anyways ... ) im not talking about ":thinking for the moment" here, tis not about even an hour's worth or a day's worth ... ima screaming weeks, MONTHS even! ("forever" - sounds too terribily romantic doesn't it?) ... im talking extreme focus here folks ... most times subconsciously concentrating on something (in particular or otherwise) that seems out of your reach, or out of your immediate ability to solve, or out of your fcuking depths. and you can do nothing about it all. you just can't shut it out. ... (am i making any fcukingsense here whatsoever?) ...
i wish i can. i wish i could just shut it all down and out. i really do. how i wish i could just stone ... but i've since lost the ability to. and my mind churns out "stories / scenarios / conspiracy theories" like a fcuking factory on nuclear-crack ~ NONSTOP ~ *churn-muthafcukah-chuggachugga-churn-Churn-CHUUUUUURRRRNNNN* ... and itz on a one-way-ticket to implosion, a towering mushroomcloud cocktail of dubious doubts, sugarcoated fears, bittersweet memories, rancid imagination and self-fulfilling-prophecies that suck your soul and then ~ *poof* ~ ya dun even get paid for it? well, i should be ...
exhaustion is the only temporary remedy i have for this, one of the many reasons for stayingup so late everynight - which iz ironic, innit? stay awake more = think MORE! but can't sleep so easily, so letting my mind chug it out til dogtired and pooped-to-da-max is my only recourse, for now (AND of coz pukingup such rubbish on me blog innit? HAH) ... so short of falling asleep (letz not talk about "dreams" yet, okay?) and/or putting a gun to my head, i can't stop worrying. imagining. thinking ...
help.
"If I could have a pound for every moment I've spent worrying
On all the little things in life that frankly there's no hurrying
Then I would be a rich girl I wanna be a rich girl soon ..."
now, i have my own personal opinions on "things in life" that needs to be hurried a tinsy-bit and im obviously not a girl (duh) ... but i sure as heck wanna be RICH - GAWDDAMMIT! better sooner; than later, of coz ... and if i could have a "pound" (sterling, Yen, USDollars or SGDollars or any gawddamnedcurrency) for every moment i've spent "worrying", i'd be a muthafcuking GAZILLIONAIRE by now!
would you believe a person can think non-stop whenever he/she is awake? when there isn't even a moment of pause? of coz there are distractions, but what im trying to say is: continuously thinking / creating / imagining / worrying of a particular something or somewhen or somewhere or someone, and ya can't stop? (deja-vu moment here = have i ever typed this somewhere else before? ... ... ... anyways ... ) im not talking about ":thinking for the moment" here, tis not about even an hour's worth or a day's worth ... ima screaming weeks, MONTHS even! ("forever" - sounds too terribily romantic doesn't it?) ... im talking extreme focus here folks ... most times subconsciously concentrating on something (in particular or otherwise) that seems out of your reach, or out of your immediate ability to solve, or out of your fcuking depths. and you can do nothing about it all. you just can't shut it out. ... (am i making any fcukingsense here whatsoever?) ...
i wish i can. i wish i could just shut it all down and out. i really do. how i wish i could just stone ... but i've since lost the ability to. and my mind churns out "stories / scenarios / conspiracy theories" like a fcuking factory on nuclear-crack ~ NONSTOP ~ *churn-muthafcukah-chuggachugga-churn-Churn-CHUUUUUURRRRNNNN* ... and itz on a one-way-ticket to implosion, a towering mushroomcloud cocktail of dubious doubts, sugarcoated fears, bittersweet memories, rancid imagination and self-fulfilling-prophecies that suck your soul and then ~ *poof* ~ ya dun even get paid for it? well, i should be ...
exhaustion is the only temporary remedy i have for this, one of the many reasons for stayingup so late everynight - which iz ironic, innit? stay awake more = think MORE! but can't sleep so easily, so letting my mind chug it out til dogtired and pooped-to-da-max is my only recourse, for now (AND of coz pukingup such rubbish on me blog innit? HAH) ... so short of falling asleep (letz not talk about "dreams" yet, okay?) and/or putting a gun to my head, i can't stop worrying. imagining. thinking ...
help.
