> lashing out
in keeping with my masthead, indulge me as i rant on for a tad ...
imagine three grown-ass-folks; all hitting/passing the thirties' mark (in age) ~ trying to arrange to go for a movie.
one is unemployed and thrawls the www the entire muthafuckin' day.
one is working and is in the office.
and one is in a middle of a job interview.
trying to arrange for a situation that'll suit all three became a task; of waiting for phone replies and of confirming a decent time that'll be comfortable to all three. tables were banged. expletives were muttered.
yes, t'was i who was suddenly overwhelmed with impatience and anger at the situation, more so becoz i can nary afford a taxi-ride to whatever location, at a short notice. i am angry with my lack of ability to be able to even partake in the simple comforts and of a little outing. it muthafucking sucks to bepoor broke. and as much as i hate my own situation, it helps not when i do nothing about it. and yet i lash out blindly like a spoilt-muthabrat.
it's no small wonder why i constantly isolate myself from "frens/people" around me (with the exception of "family", for they have no choice, innit? HAH) ~ "physically" ... and this is but just a reminder of why.
and all that remains at the end of the day is what peeps get to read online ...
my brother is on his way back home now to pick me up.
my sister is gonna meet us directly at the cinema, that we have all finally decided on.
i love my brother and sister, no doubt at all whatsoever.
i just gotta find some way to love myself ... again.
imagine three grown-ass-folks; all hitting/passing the thirties' mark (in age) ~ trying to arrange to go for a movie.
one is unemployed and thrawls the www the entire muthafuckin' day.
one is working and is in the office.
and one is in a middle of a job interview.
trying to arrange for a situation that'll suit all three became a task; of waiting for phone replies and of confirming a decent time that'll be comfortable to all three. tables were banged. expletives were muttered.
yes, t'was i who was suddenly overwhelmed with impatience and anger at the situation, more so becoz i can nary afford a taxi-ride to whatever location, at a short notice. i am angry with my lack of ability to be able to even partake in the simple comforts and of a little outing. it muthafucking sucks to be
it's no small wonder why i constantly isolate myself from "frens/people" around me (with the exception of "family", for they have no choice, innit? HAH) ~ "physically" ... and this is but just a reminder of why.
and all that remains at the end of the day is what peeps get to read online ...
my brother is on his way back home now to pick me up.
my sister is gonna meet us directly at the cinema, that we have all finally decided on.
i love my brother and sister, no doubt at all whatsoever.
i just gotta find some way to love myself ... again.
