> conflicted
i know, i know ... "work" needn't actually be that tiring (and it muthafcukin' WAS the whole of fcukin' thursday) IF i had enough sleep the night prior ... but nnnoooo, i hadda crash at 4am and wakeup at 9am ... and as sure as i haveta be up by 8am friday morning, im still widefcukinawake at 245am spewing yet another round of personalbile for gawd knows why ...
... oh yah, becoz i wanted to share me pain and suffering, innit?
BAH
and what's this with me and "conflicted feelings"? ... always "either or", but seldom "neither nor" ...
pro:
feeling the adrenaline rush again, back in the grind (as it were) and working for me moolah in a line i both love and hate (more "love" lah actually, just "hate" the "working"-bit MUAHAHAHAHA BAH) ... and seeing all plans come together (in some perverted form or another) and waiting to squeeze them "creative juices" once all is prepped for action ... and which of coz im over-romanticising it all lah nahbey! (well somebody's gotta give meself a pep-talk, innit? BAH)
con:
dreading the whole entire process of it all = the incredible tight deadlines that doesn't seem to exist only til the last friggin minute ... the increduleous requests of the clients ... the budget that doesn't seem to exist now but will eventually shrink when the going gets tough ... and of the muthafcuking early mornings ... FCUK.
tho thank gawd for my man; L ... for if not for him assisting me and driving me around, i'd be huffing and puffing and screaming-muffled-internal-screams at: (1) peeps who jump taxi queues, (2) traffic jams, (3) personal information-overload ... and as much as i wanna share my pain with this here blog, i too am in serious need of help for my current gig, i need to share the workload ... and everyone else is busy? ... whatdafcuk is wrong with the month of august eh? banner month for gigs eh? nahbey ...
i need a coupla Art/Prop Assistants and an experienced Props Master ... is there anyone out there interested? is there no one at all?
FCUK.
What A Props Master Does
goes sourcing for props and the various set requirements needed for the shoot. liase with contractors to have certain "special props" made and be delivered on-set. to be the "master" of props and to take responsibility for them. to manage the props-funds responsibly. to be able to take myridiculous stringent bullshitte demands and requirements.
the "sales-pitch":
to go shopping using other peoples' money.
What A Art/Prop Assistant Does
to assist myself and the Props Master in whatever capacity humanly or inhumanly capable of. manual labour at times, artistic efforts will be fully utilized. get to learn the tricks of the trade.
the "sales-pitch":
to be my runner, a slightly-higher-paid-bhangra-worker and sometimes dawg.
and yes, food will be provided FOC on shoot.
like alla that is gonna entice anybody like that?
*sigh*
and as i switch to perverse-mode = it's hella exciting again! MUAHAHAHAHA (plus the moolah ain't half-bad) ... and while i convert to mr.negative-mode = it's gonna be hella painful; coz right now? = tis just me and my dude ... and if it keeps up this way, it ain't gonna be pretty ...and i've learnt to say this as of late: you're only as good as the people you work with ... which in essence is pretty much the iron-truth, knowing fully also that i ain't as pumped/energetic/youthful as i used to be and even a day ofshopping running around has gotten me beat ... *wipes sweat from furrowed-brow*
BAH
and the first thing i will do when i get me payment? to go get a muthafucking new mobilephone!
my muthafcukingcockwrenching-motorola died on me today, three fcuking times; as i was online with the client ... she thot i tulan and hungup on her! how like that? ... *KNNBCCB* ... dun need this electronic-basturd's shenanigans to pumpup me bloodpressure innit?
FCUK
and of coz im still up and running coz i still can't quell this anger still simmering within me ... or was it the 3-hour telephone chat i just had? ... and another round of "complications" arise: "feeling the joy" and "dreading the eventual pain" ...
BAH
okay, time is 330am. time to rest and sleep (or at least try) ... four and a half-hours before i awake again ... dammit ... i sure as heck's gettin' too old fer this shitte ...
*sigh*
... oh yah, becoz i wanted to share me pain and suffering, innit?
BAH
and what's this with me and "conflicted feelings"? ... always "either or", but seldom "neither nor" ...
pro:
feeling the adrenaline rush again, back in the grind (as it were) and working for me moolah in a line i both love and hate (more "love" lah actually, just "hate" the "working"-bit MUAHAHAHAHA BAH) ... and seeing all plans come together (in some perverted form or another) and waiting to squeeze them "creative juices" once all is prepped for action ... and which of coz im over-romanticising it all lah nahbey! (well somebody's gotta give meself a pep-talk, innit? BAH)
con:
dreading the whole entire process of it all = the incredible tight deadlines that doesn't seem to exist only til the last friggin minute ... the increduleous requests of the clients ... the budget that doesn't seem to exist now but will eventually shrink when the going gets tough ... and of the muthafcuking early mornings ... FCUK.
tho thank gawd for my man; L ... for if not for him assisting me and driving me around, i'd be huffing and puffing and screaming-muffled-internal-screams at: (1) peeps who jump taxi queues, (2) traffic jams, (3) personal information-overload ... and as much as i wanna share my pain with this here blog, i too am in serious need of help for my current gig, i need to share the workload ... and everyone else is busy? ... whatdafcuk is wrong with the month of august eh? banner month for gigs eh? nahbey ...
i need a coupla Art/Prop Assistants and an experienced Props Master ... is there anyone out there interested? is there no one at all?
FCUK.
What A Props Master Does
goes sourcing for props and the various set requirements needed for the shoot. liase with contractors to have certain "special props" made and be delivered on-set. to be the "master" of props and to take responsibility for them. to manage the props-funds responsibly. to be able to take my
the "sales-pitch":
to go shopping using other peoples' money.
What A Art/Prop Assistant Does
to assist myself and the Props Master in whatever capacity humanly or inhumanly capable of. manual labour at times, artistic efforts will be fully utilized. get to learn the tricks of the trade.
the "sales-pitch":
to be my runner, a slightly-higher-paid-bhangra-worker and sometimes dawg.
and yes, food will be provided FOC on shoot.
like alla that is gonna entice anybody like that?
*sigh*
and as i switch to perverse-mode = it's hella exciting again! MUAHAHAHAHA (plus the moolah ain't half-bad) ... and while i convert to mr.negative-mode = it's gonna be hella painful; coz right now? = tis just me and my dude ... and if it keeps up this way, it ain't gonna be pretty ...and i've learnt to say this as of late: you're only as good as the people you work with ... which in essence is pretty much the iron-truth, knowing fully also that i ain't as pumped/energetic/youthful as i used to be and even a day of
BAH
and the first thing i will do when i get me payment? to go get a muthafucking new mobilephone!
my muthafcukingcockwrenching-motorola died on me today, three fcuking times; as i was online with the client ... she thot i tulan and hungup on her! how like that? ... *KNNBCCB* ... dun need this electronic-basturd's shenanigans to pumpup me bloodpressure innit?
FCUK
and of coz im still up and running coz i still can't quell this anger still simmering within me ... or was it the 3-hour telephone chat i just had? ... and another round of "complications" arise: "feeling the joy" and "dreading the eventual pain" ...
BAH
okay, time is 330am. time to rest and sleep (or at least try) ... four and a half-hours before i awake again ... dammit ... i sure as heck's gettin' too old fer this shitte ...
*sigh*
