> i know him well, if at all
something boggled (for lack of a better word at 430am) me today ... and becoz im still mildly awake hence i wanna get this offa my chubby-chest too)
was at a location recce in the early morn (thursday), having a puff while waiting for the rest of the team to arrive ... whereby the production coordinator (who arrived first) mentioned about a "new addition" to the team; who had mentioned that he had knew me and that i had even helped him with his uni-project, in my previous company = which indeed boggled me for i recognized not the name of said person and of his "claimed association" ... and when i was introduced to him? i had no muthafcuking clue who he was ... and this got me thinking quite a bit = how and why the hell do these peeps claim that they know me?
personnally, there's a great divide between:
(a) "oh, i've heard of him!"
(b) "oh i've worked with him before!"
(c) "oh man, he's my good buddy lah dey!"
this ain't the first time either ... granted, my memory serves me not perfect, but c'mon, it ain't THAT bad, innit? not even when i meet the person face-to-face? ... and of coz being the nice person (that i actually am), i do not devulge nor confront said peeps = why bother toshame expose them, innit? - but on the other side, it worries me so, for what if peeps go around claiming they know me, when it is fcuking obvious to me, that they don't?
guilty by association can do more damage than harm; oft times ... and when peeps get in over their heads? lies, inevitably; spew forth .... and ya think i'd be in the safe zone? ...
years past, i've heard people refer to me as if they've worked with me (when they have not) = exclaimations like: "oh, andy is too expensive" = when i've never had any dealings nor had quoted them any prices before ... or "oh man, he's crazy on set siah!" = when i have not worked with them (to my knowledge) at all ... what gives?
bad enuff i'd been bad-mouthed and poisoned by my previous employer, but from peeps i dun even know of? far be it if it gets out of hand, but then again i sure as heck can't go around explaining my life away, and neither should i bother, i reckon ... for if peeps choose to listen and believe, then heck; let them! ... would i wanna work with/for them in the first place? and as rumours and gossip mire my existence and credibility, it is the sad realization that this IS the pathetic existence of the media industry here in singapore ... and what else can i do about it? to walk pass it all? or to totally leave the muthafcuking industry altogether?
hence giving "them" the last laugh? hence depriving myself the "chance" to prove my worth?
FCUK THIS SHITTE!
but of coz, there's the opposite side to alla these, when i hear "glowing reviews" of my "performance" and "abilities" from peeps i've not worked with (which is all good, innit?) and when words travel far and wide? i smile a little smile ... mayhap a wee smirk ... and i question not the intent anyways .... and ya dun hear me complaining about that ... hahahaha such a whore is i, innit? ;p
and then someone somewhere comes up to me and asks: "eh! i heard you were involved in that project! how is it going on now ah?" ... and i'd be stumped, becoz: "what project?" ... and i find my name being bandied around (without my knowledge whatsoever), attached to projects and to people i have not heard of; to "procure funding", or to "convince clients" ... WTF, right? ... abit hard to be "happy" about the state of things when the fear might be: "oh andy couldn't come on board in the end, becoz he was asking for too much..." yaddayaddayadda ... when i weren't even ON BOARD in the first place! = ya know what i mean? = muthafcukers!
and i ain't dreaming this all up, yo! my ears are everywhere (most of the time muahahaha ;p)
and yes, i am told all this had happened - do i need "proof"? ... heck, where the fcuk CAN i find proof? peeps in this industry can say ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, to either (1) save their own asses, (2) position themselves at a more advantageous position, (3) save their own asses! ... and gawd knows i ain't a pure angelic virgin in alla these too, but there has to be a limit, right?
The Differing Levels Of LIES:
White Lies
quick and dirty lies, not repeated much ... just an excuse given at that moment to parlay a situation gone south and meant to be forgotten thereafters ...
Exaggerated Lies
ya met the person once before in your life? and suddenly you're his best friend! fictional stories all come out (based on a miniscule incident), about the "good old days" that never actually happened. a gross exaggeration of situations and conversations, taken with a fcuking whole bucket of salt, but for the good liars? *sweet as candy ass*
Blatant Lies
malicious lies built for one purpose only = to fcuk over the peep the lie had been perpetuated about ... and done with glee and with intent, either for their own benefit and gain, and/or to discredit the peep being lied about ... and something which i've been very intimate about, having been on the receiving end ... more so "exaggerated lies" too ...
... and ya know what? = SO FCUKING WHAT?
as they say, other peeps' mouths ain't mine, and neither can i afford to clam each and every ones' up ... and so i foolishly slog it out (when i choose to anyways :p) to prove everyone bogus, if only for my own benefit, than to the parasites that hang-on so ... mind-boggling, innit? who the fcuk am i anyways? ...
was at a location recce in the early morn (thursday), having a puff while waiting for the rest of the team to arrive ... whereby the production coordinator (who arrived first) mentioned about a "new addition" to the team; who had mentioned that he had knew me and that i had even helped him with his uni-project, in my previous company = which indeed boggled me for i recognized not the name of said person and of his "claimed association" ... and when i was introduced to him? i had no muthafcuking clue who he was ... and this got me thinking quite a bit = how and why the hell do these peeps claim that they know me?
personnally, there's a great divide between:
(a) "oh, i've heard of him!"
(b) "oh i've worked with him before!"
(c) "oh man, he's my good buddy lah dey!"
this ain't the first time either ... granted, my memory serves me not perfect, but c'mon, it ain't THAT bad, innit? not even when i meet the person face-to-face? ... and of coz being the nice person (that i actually am), i do not devulge nor confront said peeps = why bother to
guilty by association can do more damage than harm; oft times ... and when peeps get in over their heads? lies, inevitably; spew forth .... and ya think i'd be in the safe zone? ...
years past, i've heard people refer to me as if they've worked with me (when they have not) = exclaimations like: "oh, andy is too expensive" = when i've never had any dealings nor had quoted them any prices before ... or "oh man, he's crazy on set siah!" = when i have not worked with them (to my knowledge) at all ... what gives?
bad enuff i'd been bad-mouthed and poisoned by my previous employer, but from peeps i dun even know of? far be it if it gets out of hand, but then again i sure as heck can't go around explaining my life away, and neither should i bother, i reckon ... for if peeps choose to listen and believe, then heck; let them! ... would i wanna work with/for them in the first place? and as rumours and gossip mire my existence and credibility, it is the sad realization that this IS the pathetic existence of the media industry here in singapore ... and what else can i do about it? to walk pass it all? or to totally leave the muthafcuking industry altogether?
hence giving "them" the last laugh? hence depriving myself the "chance" to prove my worth?
FCUK THIS SHITTE!
but of coz, there's the opposite side to alla these, when i hear "glowing reviews" of my "performance" and "abilities" from peeps i've not worked with (which is all good, innit?) and when words travel far and wide? i smile a little smile ... mayhap a wee smirk ... and i question not the intent anyways .... and ya dun hear me complaining about that ... hahahaha such a whore is i, innit? ;p
and then someone somewhere comes up to me and asks: "eh! i heard you were involved in that project! how is it going on now ah?" ... and i'd be stumped, becoz: "what project?" ... and i find my name being bandied around (without my knowledge whatsoever), attached to projects and to people i have not heard of; to "procure funding", or to "convince clients" ... WTF, right? ... abit hard to be "happy" about the state of things when the fear might be: "oh andy couldn't come on board in the end, becoz he was asking for too much..." yaddayaddayadda ... when i weren't even ON BOARD in the first place! = ya know what i mean? = muthafcukers!
and i ain't dreaming this all up, yo! my ears are everywhere (most of the time muahahaha ;p)
and yes, i am told all this had happened - do i need "proof"? ... heck, where the fcuk CAN i find proof? peeps in this industry can say ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, to either (1) save their own asses, (2) position themselves at a more advantageous position, (3) save their own asses! ... and gawd knows i ain't a pure angelic virgin in alla these too, but there has to be a limit, right?
The Differing Levels Of LIES:
White Lies
quick and dirty lies, not repeated much ... just an excuse given at that moment to parlay a situation gone south and meant to be forgotten thereafters ...
Exaggerated Lies
ya met the person once before in your life? and suddenly you're his best friend! fictional stories all come out (based on a miniscule incident), about the "good old days" that never actually happened. a gross exaggeration of situations and conversations, taken with a fcuking whole bucket of salt, but for the good liars? *sweet as candy ass*
Blatant Lies
malicious lies built for one purpose only = to fcuk over the peep the lie had been perpetuated about ... and done with glee and with intent, either for their own benefit and gain, and/or to discredit the peep being lied about ... and something which i've been very intimate about, having been on the receiving end ... more so "exaggerated lies" too ...
... and ya know what? = SO FCUKING WHAT?
as they say, other peeps' mouths ain't mine, and neither can i afford to clam each and every ones' up ... and so i foolishly slog it out (when i choose to anyways :p) to prove everyone bogus, if only for my own benefit, than to the parasites that hang-on so ... mind-boggling, innit? who the fcuk am i anyways? ...
