> hello life
attempts at emptying my mind has gone to hades.
been trying to clear all emotional attachments, personal demons, financial burdens and creative blockades, to make way for family commitments ... tis time to relinquish all other roles i've held: friend, lover, boss, whatever ... tis time to be a son to my father ... dad's going into heart surgery next week and im ... scared ...
... ... ...
hardly a cheery tuesday spent at the doctor's. failure-rate/percentages and astronomical hospital costs help not the mood. the anger i had in the past had given way to silent fear and im a zombie cruising the hospital corridors, bustling up and down the elevators ... zipping around town to pay my various bills and here i am at home by the stroke of half-past five, tired beyond anything i've imagined a tuesday to be ...
a night prior of beers (beyond my "normal" intake anyways) @ a wrap-party and a late nightpig out supper at simpang bedok should've left me with a massive hangover and bloated stomach, but all it did was make me tired, both physically and emotionally ... and the dream i had hammered in the final few nails into my psychecoffin ... spent a extraordinary amount of time in a pathetic state of half-dream = knowing im awake and yet still in the thrall of dreamland; had me flopping and rolling about in bed, trying to find a spot to take cover from what i had forgotten ... just as well, i reckon ... whatever my subconscious was trying to tell me, my wakingmind resolves to focus on the situation at hand ... my dad. he needs me more than i need anything else now. or at least that's what i think anyways ...
... ... ...
so, goodbye parties, suppers, career and lovelife (WHAT lovelife?) and hello; LIFE.
been trying to clear all emotional attachments, personal demons, financial burdens and creative blockades, to make way for family commitments ... tis time to relinquish all other roles i've held: friend, lover, boss, whatever ... tis time to be a son to my father ... dad's going into heart surgery next week and im ... scared ...
... ... ...
hardly a cheery tuesday spent at the doctor's. failure-rate/percentages and astronomical hospital costs help not the mood. the anger i had in the past had given way to silent fear and im a zombie cruising the hospital corridors, bustling up and down the elevators ... zipping around town to pay my various bills and here i am at home by the stroke of half-past five, tired beyond anything i've imagined a tuesday to be ...
a night prior of beers (beyond my "normal" intake anyways) @ a wrap-party and a late night
... ... ...
so, goodbye parties, suppers, career and lovelife (WHAT lovelife?) and hello; LIFE.
