> lies

if there's one thing in this whole gawdforsaken world we live in that gets me tits on fire; that i can't abide by: is being lied to. it comes in a close second, after: being accused of saying / doing something i did not. no, i cannot abide by either.

and tho tis a scenario that i myself have regretably partaked of times past (no, i have never said i was a holy innocent in alla these - and that i've never forgiven myself either) - the "benefit of doubt" is cast out amongst the rabid dogs of the corporate wild and left to be fed and bones are left of all said-benefit ... the bare truth flaying amidst the bellowing wind of reality and memory.

regardless of personal or business issues, when one pulls a fast one over me, most times i let it slide (yes, fucking foolish me) - becoz if you're out to scam me, i can only but learn from "experience", but only "after the fact" (im slow and too foolishly trusting to frens that way). but when the shit hits the fan? you will burn. please dun make me burn you, much less if you are a friend, more so if i dun give twofucks' about your miserable excuse for a life ... and hence when "personal" and "business" gets muckedup in the same soupdish, inevitably i'd be the mofo ending up with the cockroach's hairy legs at the base of the plate, as im rinsing it out in the soapy sink at the back of reality's kitchen ... and my hands are rinsed raw to the bones. i fucking hate that. fucking. hate.

a bitter taste lingers on my chapped lips, dried from the foam oozing out my mouth, in the private frenzy that haunts my waking dreams ... and i am tired. and so you walk. and i let you walk away. the blade will never be in my hands. i'll let you do the slicing and dicing yourself ...

and as for not believing what i say? tis at your own peril. i will not be held acccountable for your disbelieving my words and intent. and if i was not clear with either in the first place? my apologies - for that will be the only time you'll hear it ... and after that, you're on your own. do not ever twist my words and intent. that is but a simple phantom request. i want for nothing else more than a benefit of the doubt. such delicious irony, innit? for my prior ramble is ground to pulp with this request. tho i care not, for i am a selfish destructive mofo and self-preservation is my only recourse, seeing you refuse to play by my rules and that you're out to break them and everyone elses' ... and leaving me with the cockroach's legs? fuck. you.

let us sin together, shall we?
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