> the logistics of dating options for a man in his mid-thirties
there are basically 3 'catergories" for which the adult women in singapore falls into:
(A) 30 years old and above
(B) 25-30 years old
(C) 21-24 years old
Cat. A
heterosexual women above 30's are either already married (so that's out, innit?) or if they're still single, they either can't find the man of their dreams (most times they might not even exist) or they hate men. i can attest to the latter. whenever im out with my single female peers, they're either out of a shitty relationship (which lasted years) or lamenting the lack of "good men" (thanks ah!) and all basically resound: "all men are bastards!" (THANKS YAH?!). and the baggage and dark clouds help not in any form of romance or even sex (if that were the case) and hence we keep the bitching to not-so-subtle moments like these. old friends = dun even think about sex. so there.
Cat. B
heterosexual women between ages of 25-30, are either already in a relationship, as their men had already come out of army and started a career, hence a semblence of stability and "safe for dating". or they are in the midst of bringing said relationship to the next possible singaporean-scenario = marriage. all is good, both are working and it's time to settle down. otherwise wait until when? the energy level is still high and spirits are soaring for most (that i know of already) and even tho single, the chances of moving on and starting a brand new relationship is still a viable option and chances are higher. most locales are targeted towards this age-bracket anyways. the young up and about preppy/yuppy, out to savour the world and all that she can give.
Cat. C
heterosexual women between 21-25 are more "available" within the dating pool (such as it were). some of the boys are in the army or are pursuing further studies. or they've just started out on the working grind and mayhaps need to fend for themselves and buildup their careers more than anything else. or maybe basically the men are still "boys" and might not know how to take care of a women, much less offer them anything else than passion and love (IF such were the case, i know not for sure). the student body notwithstanding, the working women of said category is enjoying the initial time of their lives. surrounded by slightly more mature men and career prospects, the world is their oyster. the stakes in basic relationships aren't too high (NOT to say they're loose or anything like that, k?!) and unless they DO find the man of their dreams, settling down isn't even in the horizon, yet. hence a relationship isn't that big an issue becoz "why need to make it one when you're still young? why can't we have fun first?"
so there. it might seemed warped by any standards. but that is the reality i am faced with. a mid-thirties single heterosexual male pounding the lonely boulevards of broken dreams and hearts. tired of the heartaches and the "chase". itz afterall a glamorous sham and games we all play, isn't it? aren't we? for we might not be able to say exactly what we all want, for fear of "losing face" (?) or losing any sense of "self-worth". and any and/or all "opportunities" are lost to second guessing and doubts. and of coz "face". and the reality is that lonely journey home at the end of the day with no one to call or no one to call you back. someone who'll care for you (and NOT just as a friend). is it all too much to ask for? for someone who cares for you? who loves you? who you can love back? the faith and trust all embodied in a fruitful relationship where both individual grows together, each with their own lives and yet together, they are one? maybe it is too much to ask for, for a mid-thirties single heterosexual man like myself ... and i am tired and in fear of asking for anything anymore ...
have we become so desensitized to affection around us? where "relationships" are but buzzwords and seeming mundane normality, with nary any stakes in it? where "love 'em and leave 'em" can be meted on a whim? where confusion is an excuse? that in the end, "we need only to look out for ourselves?". mayhaps alla these are extremes, i deny it not. tis but with a tinge of doubt i generalize alla these, i insist. but in the end, who else but to think for, but for yourselves? bcoz it sures as hell's you're own life that you're living, innit? far be it ya haveta live someone else's lives, innit? now, THAT would be a tragedy in the making IMHO :p
and so i bottleup all my hopes and wishes and desires and needs; within me once more. "love" is such a dirtydirtyword. "making love" is nothing more than a carnal pleasure and sin and taboo. a "relationship" is nothing more than a "empty promises made at the heat of the moment", whereby it can be broken anytime it deems fit. and off we all walk into the sunset, disappearing into the mirage that once was a glorious past, now but a faded memory, smell still lingering in the air, the phantom touch of affection now unto a stranger walking past you on the streets and you ask not "why" anymore ... you still haveta walk that street, to get to the otherside, wherever that may lead you ... but you're head is still among the clouds? foolish foolish mortal.
no i am not bitter, no. i am still growing up, if not growing older.
(A) 30 years old and above
(B) 25-30 years old
(C) 21-24 years old
Cat. A
heterosexual women above 30's are either already married (so that's out, innit?) or if they're still single, they either can't find the man of their dreams (most times they might not even exist) or they hate men. i can attest to the latter. whenever im out with my single female peers, they're either out of a shitty relationship (which lasted years) or lamenting the lack of "good men" (thanks ah!) and all basically resound: "all men are bastards!" (THANKS YAH?!). and the baggage and dark clouds help not in any form of romance or even sex (if that were the case) and hence we keep the bitching to not-so-subtle moments like these. old friends = dun even think about sex. so there.
Cat. B
heterosexual women between ages of 25-30, are either already in a relationship, as their men had already come out of army and started a career, hence a semblence of stability and "safe for dating". or they are in the midst of bringing said relationship to the next possible singaporean-scenario = marriage. all is good, both are working and it's time to settle down. otherwise wait until when? the energy level is still high and spirits are soaring for most (that i know of already) and even tho single, the chances of moving on and starting a brand new relationship is still a viable option and chances are higher. most locales are targeted towards this age-bracket anyways. the young up and about preppy/yuppy, out to savour the world and all that she can give.
Cat. C
heterosexual women between 21-25 are more "available" within the dating pool (such as it were). some of the boys are in the army or are pursuing further studies. or they've just started out on the working grind and mayhaps need to fend for themselves and buildup their careers more than anything else. or maybe basically the men are still "boys" and might not know how to take care of a women, much less offer them anything else than passion and love (IF such were the case, i know not for sure). the student body notwithstanding, the working women of said category is enjoying the initial time of their lives. surrounded by slightly more mature men and career prospects, the world is their oyster. the stakes in basic relationships aren't too high (NOT to say they're loose or anything like that, k?!) and unless they DO find the man of their dreams, settling down isn't even in the horizon, yet. hence a relationship isn't that big an issue becoz "why need to make it one when you're still young? why can't we have fun first?"
so there. it might seemed warped by any standards. but that is the reality i am faced with. a mid-thirties single heterosexual male pounding the lonely boulevards of broken dreams and hearts. tired of the heartaches and the "chase". itz afterall a glamorous sham and games we all play, isn't it? aren't we? for we might not be able to say exactly what we all want, for fear of "losing face" (?) or losing any sense of "self-worth". and any and/or all "opportunities" are lost to second guessing and doubts. and of coz "face". and the reality is that lonely journey home at the end of the day with no one to call or no one to call you back. someone who'll care for you (and NOT just as a friend). is it all too much to ask for? for someone who cares for you? who loves you? who you can love back? the faith and trust all embodied in a fruitful relationship where both individual grows together, each with their own lives and yet together, they are one? maybe it is too much to ask for, for a mid-thirties single heterosexual man like myself ... and i am tired and in fear of asking for anything anymore ...
have we become so desensitized to affection around us? where "relationships" are but buzzwords and seeming mundane normality, with nary any stakes in it? where "love 'em and leave 'em" can be meted on a whim? where confusion is an excuse? that in the end, "we need only to look out for ourselves?". mayhaps alla these are extremes, i deny it not. tis but with a tinge of doubt i generalize alla these, i insist. but in the end, who else but to think for, but for yourselves? bcoz it sures as hell's you're own life that you're living, innit? far be it ya haveta live someone else's lives, innit? now, THAT would be a tragedy in the making IMHO :p
and so i bottleup all my hopes and wishes and desires and needs; within me once more. "love" is such a dirtydirtyword. "making love" is nothing more than a carnal pleasure and sin and taboo. a "relationship" is nothing more than a "empty promises made at the heat of the moment", whereby it can be broken anytime it deems fit. and off we all walk into the sunset, disappearing into the mirage that once was a glorious past, now but a faded memory, smell still lingering in the air, the phantom touch of affection now unto a stranger walking past you on the streets and you ask not "why" anymore ... you still haveta walk that street, to get to the otherside, wherever that may lead you ... but you're head is still among the clouds? foolish foolish mortal.
no i am not bitter, no. i am still growing up, if not growing older.
