> of alcohol and maintenance
i've not had liquor for quite a while now. and the whole thing (for me anyways) about liquor; is more often associated with the company of peeps and of the locales in which we partake of the sinful beverage.
hanging out with frens at a public hawker centre or kopi tiam with cheap(er) beer and hawker-fare appeals to the "more relaxed" side of me, and i actually enjoy it. while hanging out at pubs or entertainment joints with expensive alternatives - dun really appeal much to me anymore (i remember those foolish years of youth ... aaahhh ... *bah-humbug*). but tis all co-dependant on the company you keep, i suppose. (financial situation notwithstanding) if you're with "the right peeps", you'd enjoy it regardless of locales, innit? and most timesscreaming shouting conversations in between mindthumping music doesn't really help the conversation (unless of coz you're up close to someone ya fancy lah *wink*) ... which is also an irony, becoz in a kopi tiam environment - you'd shout and laugh even louder, innit? hahahahaha = just missing only the music in the background only! :p
a beer and im laughing my ass silly.
another vodka lime and im starring into the candle at the beautiful flicker.
sad fuck pathetic lah; me ...
all the years of "training" had been thrown back to behind the bar and im comfortable just nursing a simple drink and puffing with a vengence instead. and when ya can't contribute to a conversation? well, ya might as well be back home by yourself, innit?
dun see myself clubbing/pubbing/partying much in days to come, i suspect ... tho the urge has been rearing itz ugly head once too often ... but i haveta realize maybe im not built that way. and chillin' with frens in a relaxed atmos would begreat enough for me already ...
... ... ...
and on another note, i've been told im "high maintenance" (???) like WTF? hahahahahha
tis becoz ineed want attention from my lover?
tis becoz i get jealous too easily?
tis becoz i need to feel loved constantly?
and so im needy and jealous-prone. fair enuff.
but aren't they all basic requirements / neccessities in any relationships? (*cough-cough*) :p ... yes, independance is a must, but at the end of the day, if without the above, what would make the difference between a partner/lover and a friend? tho as much as i think the above are the norms in a relationship (like, whatdafuck would i know when here i am still single, innit? BAH) - i will acknowledge my traits and live with them. for they are traits that are not so easily changed, i reckon. alla these are brought about from past experiences and as much as we try to carry-on with life and all that jazz, aren't we all somehow still affected by the past? you might try to not live in the past, but the past doesn't just up and disappear on ya, ya know?
and as naively-romantique as i'd like to think my fetid lil' mind is capable of, i know that in the end, it's either i find someone who i'll "change" into a "better man" for (and tis not someone who CAN change me, why change the person that you're with into someone that isn't him/her?) ... OR that someone will actually accept me for who i am now, and not who i can and/or will be, ya know?
... ... ...
am thinking of a parallel between my alcohol intake and relationships (disclaimer: itz near four am and i ain't exactly lucid)... tis been a while since i've drank any, but mayhap if i get into "the groove of it", things might make a change for the better and it'll be like riding a bike, ya know? but with the joy and "transient happiness" that accompanies it will inevitably be followed by a hangover and you'd end up swearing off "it"forever for a while longer ... becoz my tolerance has already given way and itz a path that i hesitate to walk on again, regardless of the feelings and emotions that comes with it all ... dun really think im making any sense here, am i? heh :p
if anything, why can't it all be just as chill as a bottle of hsing tao beer in a relaxed environment and that'll be that? ... or maybe it is after all, just about me and my traits? ... but we shall see, wouldn't we?
hhhhmmmmmm ...
and if alla these makes me *high maintenance*, then i am.
... ... ...
like i got time for this shitte now lor! gotta wakeup in a few hours' time for work and that alone will flood my attentionspan already lor (i hope) ... dammit
hanging out with frens at a public hawker centre or kopi tiam with cheap(er) beer and hawker-fare appeals to the "more relaxed" side of me, and i actually enjoy it. while hanging out at pubs or entertainment joints with expensive alternatives - dun really appeal much to me anymore (i remember those foolish years of youth ... aaahhh ... *bah-humbug*). but tis all co-dependant on the company you keep, i suppose. (financial situation notwithstanding) if you're with "the right peeps", you'd enjoy it regardless of locales, innit? and most times
a beer and im laughing my ass silly.
another vodka lime and im starring into the candle at the beautiful flicker.
all the years of "training" had been thrown back to behind the bar and im comfortable just nursing a simple drink and puffing with a vengence instead. and when ya can't contribute to a conversation? well, ya might as well be back home by yourself, innit?
dun see myself clubbing/pubbing/partying much in days to come, i suspect ... tho the urge has been rearing itz ugly head once too often ... but i haveta realize maybe im not built that way. and chillin' with frens in a relaxed atmos would be
... ... ...
and on another note, i've been told im "high maintenance" (???) like WTF? hahahahahha
tis becoz i
tis becoz i get jealous too easily?
tis becoz i need to feel loved constantly?
and so im needy and jealous-prone. fair enuff.
but aren't they all basic requirements / neccessities in any relationships? (*cough-cough*) :p ... yes, independance is a must, but at the end of the day, if without the above, what would make the difference between a partner/lover and a friend? tho as much as i think the above are the norms in a relationship (like, whatdafuck would i know when here i am still single, innit? BAH) - i will acknowledge my traits and live with them. for they are traits that are not so easily changed, i reckon. alla these are brought about from past experiences and as much as we try to carry-on with life and all that jazz, aren't we all somehow still affected by the past? you might try to not live in the past, but the past doesn't just up and disappear on ya, ya know?
and as naively-romantique as i'd like to think my fetid lil' mind is capable of, i know that in the end, it's either i find someone who i'll "change" into a "better man" for (and tis not someone who CAN change me, why change the person that you're with into someone that isn't him/her?) ... OR that someone will actually accept me for who i am now, and not who i can and/or will be, ya know?
... ... ...
am thinking of a parallel between my alcohol intake and relationships (disclaimer: itz near four am and i ain't exactly lucid)... tis been a while since i've drank any, but mayhap if i get into "the groove of it", things might make a change for the better and it'll be like riding a bike, ya know? but with the joy and "transient happiness" that accompanies it will inevitably be followed by a hangover and you'd end up swearing off "it"
if anything, why can't it all be just as chill as a bottle of hsing tao beer in a relaxed environment and that'll be that? ... or maybe it is after all, just about me and my traits? ... but we shall see, wouldn't we?
hhhhmmmmmm ...
and if alla these makes me *high maintenance*, then i am.
... ... ...
like i got time for this shitte now lor! gotta wakeup in a few hours' time for work and that alone will flood my attentionspan already lor (i hope) ... dammit
