> negate thee
my negativity has taken a life of it's own ... or maybe rather, negativity has taken over me (tho this is not new news) ... and i have pushed yet another person away from me ... and somehow what she said was true; tis not the matter of (for example) how "broke" i am physically, but how rich i am if i choose to be, and when the mind thinks that, thy mind would be "free"? "free-er"? ... sounding perfectly metaphysically-logical, dun it? hhhmmm. that by following such "positivity" mayhap would somehow affect too the mindset of one such as i ... but alas, the mindbile inbuilt within me resists and a wall-of-negativity erects out of nowhere and the die is cast and we parted for home separately, with nary a word of "what happens next" ... for indeed as "rich" as i wanna be, "practicality" slaps me down hard and i stay down, battered, bruised and bleeding ... not being able to even afford a simple beer afters ... hey, i ain't here sitting on me lardass blaming ALL my negativity on me financial-status, ya know? but it sure as fcuk stirs shitte doesn't help, innit? HAH!
and then how? stand at the doorway of thine hope and scream to the winds: "im rich! im rich as can be! for life and love pulsates within me!" and as gawddamnedcorny as it may sound, tis something i would really much like to say and scream, actually ... but alas; that too is not inbuilt within me ... and it would take time and will to make it happen, to make it truly; true ... but until then? a killjoy i will be still and a hermit i will stay ...
until then? here's what could be ...
a poor man's picnic with a bottle of wine and crackers, with lit sparklers all around
downing finger-eats and treats sitting by the steps of a mall, watching peeps and the world go by
listening to music on the same headphones amidst the crowds, not hearing anything or anyone else
standing at the junction of a traffic light hands held together but both too frozen to move even an inch
trading licks; vanilla and chocolate 25-cent-icecream cones at a busy taxistand
sitting side-by-side at a bus stop wondering if everyone boarding the bus; is going home
sketching and writing on a same singular piece of paper, finishing his and her's words and sentences
sharing a single can of beer, a sip and a laugh at a time
and a dream it will be, for today's dream is tomorrow's memory and yesterday was but a future's wish.
and then how? stand at the doorway of thine hope and scream to the winds: "im rich! im rich as can be! for life and love pulsates within me!" and as gawddamnedcorny as it may sound, tis something i would really much like to say and scream, actually ... but alas; that too is not inbuilt within me ... and it would take time and will to make it happen, to make it truly; true ... but until then? a killjoy i will be still and a hermit i will stay ...
until then? here's what could be ...
a poor man's picnic with a bottle of wine and crackers, with lit sparklers all around
downing finger-eats and treats sitting by the steps of a mall, watching peeps and the world go by
listening to music on the same headphones amidst the crowds, not hearing anything or anyone else
standing at the junction of a traffic light hands held together but both too frozen to move even an inch
trading licks; vanilla and chocolate 25-cent-icecream cones at a busy taxistand
sitting side-by-side at a bus stop wondering if everyone boarding the bus; is going home
sketching and writing on a same singular piece of paper, finishing his and her's words and sentences
sharing a single can of beer, a sip and a laugh at a time
and a dream it will be, for today's dream is tomorrow's memory and yesterday was but a future's wish.
