> being broke
many a times, i've heard from and/or read about various folks exclaiming about; "being broke" lah, cannot afford this and that lah yaddayaddayadda ... and most times it gets to me quite a bit; for it doesn't really seem that they are "broke" per se ... or maybe tis the many differing levels of "being broke" that i should aquaint myself with?
The 3 Basic Levels Of "Being Broke"
Level One:
that the person's "on-hand" cash is actually quite fluid (but the moolah in the bank is fat and healthy = but dun want to touch) ... tis just that he/she might not be able to enjoy the many comforts of said person's "past", whereby a few nights out on the town per week, filled with partying and drinking and midnight-cab-fares. or that the days of eating at
this is what i term; "Bogus-Broke".
becoz they're not really "broke", but tis all just in the matter of the "mind" ...
Level Two:
that the person's "on-hand" cash is indeed in peril (but still got moolah in the bank to sustain "life", if ever need be = tho also dun wanna touch), and that he/she does stick to "controlled spending", hence cutting down on the frills of modern-everyday-life; eating at cheaper kopi tiams, partying maybe even lesser than once per week or fortnight and literally purchasing lesser, if not at all, on everyday material stuff, ie: cds, cab rides yaddayaddayadda ... but somehow still can manage til the end of the month, when heaven touches the earth with but a single slip of paper that reads: pay day ...
this is what i term; "Borderline-Broke"
becoz they are actually near "broke", but can still literally survive without the material trappings that they've experienced in the past ... and can probably do without them anyways
Level Three:
there is literally NO cash-in-hand, or very little = most of the time. and the bank is but an empty vessel holding $50 and that's all he/she has in the entire life at that point, whereby if you're stuck with an ATM that can't spit out $10-bills and hence one can't even tap on that $50 within? ... and that he/she survives on selling little toys and trinkets to fellow toy collectors, maybe making $20-30 a week extra (if you're lucky)? which will eventually go into buying cigarettes? or that he/she can't even afford to travel around, conserving whatever the $15 amount stored in the ezlink card, to survive for the month or two? or that he/she can't even afford to have a decent meal in any restaurants, opting for a $2 nasi lemak at a chye chee kopi tiam only becoz his/her friend could tompang a ride? if not, alla meals are had at home? or that whatever moolah coming his/her way from freelance jobs; will only come in two months' time, hence with only $20 in the pocket for the duration of two months, if no one buys any toys from him/her?
now, this would be what i term; "Dead-Broke"
or the closest one can get to it ... for if it literally means "dead broke", then that person has no real reason to carry on with life, innit?
or maybe another term i like to use: "Broke-Ass-Bitch". heh ;p
and of coz in reference to alla the above, i mean: "physically broke" and not spiritually-broke or anything like that, okay? literally "spending money" available, or lack thereof ...heh ;p
and when i tell friends im "broke", peeps mostly just laugh it off ... for perhaps when they themselves scream "broke", they belong mostly to Level One and sometimes even Level Two? and can nary "understand" what it really means; to be broke? ... how many people (dare i think) have tasted the anguish of Level Three? /
/ so the next time ya cry "broke" to peeps and folks around you, bare in mind what it actually means and entails ... or maybe yes, i am taking it too personal, nor am i out to offend anybody, okay? ... becoz "being broke"; as subjective as it is to differing folks, it means something too close to my reality and somehow it becomes an insult ... becoz as much as i try to empathize with peeps around me, no one will understand what it really means to me.
"too selfish of me", you'd say? well, fair enuff ... but consider this: selfish to you, but self-preservation for me ... and tis not about asking for sympathy (and NO it is fcuking NOT) or even expecting any apathy (im not a charity and yes i still have my hands and feet, even as unhealthy as it seems ;p) ... tho sometimes i would hope for some "understanding" amongst friends; when i say "i'm broke" ~ it means I'M BROKE and nothing lesser ... (tho this something "they" might never read about, as they know not about this blog, innit? *sigh*) ... and im so tired of trying to explain it all to peeps ... so i dun bother anymore, i just isolate myself and keep away from physical human contact <:/
/it's not very farnie, innit? ... oh okay, it is a little lah ... heh ... and what else can i do but *smile* thru it all, innit? and pray hard-hard for TOTO to strike! ahahahahahaha ... the irony being i have hardly enuff cash to even buy toto ... like that how? *stoopid sadfcuk smile* ;p
aiyah, just call me a broke-ass-biatch, can lieow ... *sigh*
