In wording this blog article, the first title that popped into mind, was "New Directions" … then I realized I was just remembering an episode of Glee. Hey, I loved watching Glee (and am looking forward to it coming back to Cable on January 25th *pom-pom-toss*), and the titled was ultimately truer than I give credit for. Things have changed "post-Stroke" (for now), and the life (both real-world and cyber) have been drastically altered, against my will. A new life awaits, to taunt me, to tease me - all for me to live it!
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The reason is pretty simple. I can no longer write / publish as much as I do, pre-Stroke. Lying in the hospital bed for two whole months meant lots of time to think, and one of the main thoughts, was to get back online! (But of course the first month was filled with bed-wetting, tube-up my nostril, slurred-speech - with hardly any energy to go online, truth be told). Subsequently in the second month of my hospitalization, I had even managed to somewhat sneak three times a week to get hooked up to the internet (each lasting around an hour each, each after the result of acupuncture). But alas, what could be done was severely limited.
Not just everything was swirling around in lighting speeds while I languished somewhat in slow motion - in my world, my current double-vision (resultant of the Stroke as well) meant peering through an eye-patch (alternatively repositioned, for single-vision viewing - yes it works-ish), while attempting to type on a laptop. Not as easy as you think, especially the earlier days when my right-arm was rigid and stiff (also the main result of a near-paralysis Stroke). I am thankful now I am able to type on both fingers / hands. (The arm is still tingly-rigid tho, but manageable).
I had also given up on mobile phones, as the miniature phone-keys are nothing but aggravation for me now - but that's another malady especially for folks trying to keep in touch with me (As much as I appreciate your "How are you? Are you okay?" smses - I'm sorry I could not reply as I was in Stroke, thank you.).
I now no longer read the newspapers (need a magnifying glass - something which might change given the improvement of my situation, in time). I do watch quite a number of television (mostly food channel, but never comfortable), and I spend way too much time online - as attested and detested by my family (they basically want me to rest, I understand). And besides going for acupuncture and (eventually) physiotherapy, that basically makes up my day. And being online, has become a honking huge part of it.
Hence, the "New Directions" of the blog, and ultimately my blogging-habit.
One thing to consider, blogging had turned hobby to career, in the span of 5 years blogging online. Imagine if you will, my "career" had the come grinding to a halt, when I suffered a mild episode of Stroke. In a split-moment, I had effectually become "jobless". I could not longer even attempt to update the blog, and survive on web-ads and peripherals. Two months of thinking just that, may well have taken it's toll (I have not reconciled with that, so have not accepted that haha). Now, I am unwilling to continue to think that, in the days to come. And well, having Stroke doesn't mean having a hell lot of options for me to do physically in the first place, innit? RIght.
And as important is the plain fact that I want to give back to the community, who had supported me through the years, and surprised me abundantly with the showering of effort and concern during my days in hospital, that can not be fully appreciated, nor addressed by however more I choose to do, in my current condition.
I am by nature, not a patient man. I need to be on the move. But post-Stroke, I need to learn zen, I need to slow the heck down, I need to, and want to take a step back, and be able to see the whole picture again.
And here we are. My current state of situation-sickness demands I devote more time to rehabilitation and recovery, while the career and ambitious-minded aspect of me, is grasping at cyber-straws to survive my life financially. Yes, I know for a fact which side is more important (if I had to tell you outright, you are I are both muppets, innit? Hah) and thank the generosity of awesome folks with their kind donations and charity efforts, I am decently ensured I have some time to go before I cannot afford to pay folks to electrocute me with needles and make me sweat buckets (aka Acupunture and Physio-Therapy). And of course there is family - my dear suffering family - who has my back.
Let me be perfectly clear on this: This article is not meant to be a pity-plea, nor cry-for-help. This is a straight-up recollection of days before, whatever is happening now, and what I dare hope for the future to be. When I decided at the earlier stage of my Stroke to inform folks about my sickness - I had then decided to keep an open view into my situation, and eventual recovery (mostly thru my Facebook), and this current article is no different from that … well, except for soliciting toy-news, innit? HAH.
I cannot post or publish about something if I do not know it exists. A picture night be worth a thousand words, but it is worthless with details or information, in the toy-world. Help me pimp you, help me spread the toy-poison! Let me be your Toy-Doctor, and let me administer the toy-cure!
This is not the last of the TOYSREVIL blog - this is yet another brand new beginning (Remember? "Lots of Time To Think In Bed"?), and as slow as it is to rev up now, I hope you folks can and will be along for the ride** :)
Cheers to 2011
P/S#1: Oh yes - I am fine if you do not want to be a friend of mine, really. But if you are, I will be a friend to you - it'll just take some time before I get there eventually, yeh?
P/S#2: Ride** - geddit? Wheelchair-dude = Ride = Geddit? Oh, nevermind.... heh.