> maybe happiness

maybe i depend on others for my happiness too much. maybe i should seek happiness for myself first before i dare expect or hope that of others. which might as well be a elusive quagmire as how can we receive happiness from nothing? doing something that you're happy with, rather than doing something for others which would make them happy? and in return you would be happy/ier? receive and you will give. or is it the other way around?

does it really matter?

selfishness is a virtue yet untapped and unaccepted. and i am selfish i know.

happy with a little prose i wrote. happy with the way the picture came out. happy with the smoke ring that never quite was. happy with the way the random shadow cast on the floor. happy with the weather. or are those "contentment"? i know not the difference anymore.

happiness is a feeling of the unrequited made real.
happiness is the feeling of hearing laughter and you laugh/smile along.
happiness is the warmth and touch of someone who cares.
happiness is a chocolate fudgesundae on a dreadry day.
happiness is a tall glass of icedfantagrapesoda on a dry thirsty day.

what is happiness really? i know not anymore i suspect.

in the past i used to say; "happiness is easier to obtain than peace"

i know not that anymore.

seek and ye shall not find. discovery made sweeter with the unknown and unexpected.