> staying afloat

in the downpour of a lazy hazy sunday afternoon as the clock blips to a 3:13pm the sudden feeling of impotency to happiness and love washes over my dull thoughts and i find myself sitting alone again helpless and lost to humanity and selfpreservation. words starting to trickle down my nerves and i worry so. i write more when i am in a rut. i write more when im down. i write more when im feeling shitte. and im writing a whole lotta heck now. creation be damned and perversion be thy muse. we sculpt our piece with grime and tears. we present our works on a rustedplatter of fungiinfestedpeeandpuke from our emptied hearts and minds and we stand proud foolishly so atop the mountain with noroadbackdown. chained to the stump of a tree where once was fell by lightning and we wait once more to be electrified and be damned.

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the sky outside darkens to an late evening glow of muffledstars and tho the day seems shorter we know our lives had just gotten longer. the dread fills our tomorrows like stormclouds fill the greyskies threatening our lives our loves our hopes. and my weary umbrella is torn and tattered and yet i hold it up with a hope that its enough, at the very least a conduit for the lightning gods to unleash their fury upon me, as venus had taunted and tortured me times hence and i stand alone in the rain of tears and despair once more atop a selfmanmademountain in the middle of the vast sea of humanity i close my eyes and dream tho a halfdream it is as i fear falling off the mountain of falsevirtue and drowning in the waters of undeniable truth that in the end i swim not against the tide or with it, for i am not a swimmer and i welcome not the seawater in my lungs for i want to breathe i want to live i want to love

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if happiness be thy float and love be thy oxygen, then the truth would be the concreteslabweight chained to thy feets pulling me down down down into the abyss of unspeakabledarktomorrows
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