> still talking about IRs? snippets of nonsense within
.
possible news of the future, perhaps?
(pure fiction i made up, i insist, so dun complain me leh. heh)
for aren't we a nation who runs around in circles? heh.
................................................................................................................................
No Harm In Trying Your Luck
Gambling Fever has gripped the nation and its fast becoming the national past time for both the young and old, as anything and everything can be wagered on!
Bets are even placed on who will walk out the casino-floors as winners or losers!
"In the end, high class or low class, as long as it is a win/win situation, we are all okay for it!" - exclaims Mr. CheongTao (34), a reputated reformed underground bookie, now gone legit with his official betting-booth set right outside the front doors of the casinos.
"Aiyoh, no need turf club anymore lieow! too hard to manage and maintain lah. even my son can win his own extra pocket money by playing snakes&ladders with his classmates!" - claims Mr.LuiBeen (43), a former owner of a racehorse.
But Mr. Lui, don't you think this is unhealthy?
Mr. LuiBeen: "How can it be unhealthy? it is all fair and square what! as long as he takes care of his studies and it also depends on his luck orso what. even the garhmen endorse and approve lieow, so what's so wrong about it? better he go out win a little money, than spend all of his time like last time, blogging all day long lor! blog got win money one meh?"
Even his neighbour, Mr. Muthu (who was in the toto queue just behind Mr. LuiBeen) has this to share about the new game of chance that is all the rage in his daughter's school; The "Guess What Bus Number That's Gonna Come Next" (GWBNGCN) - Game!
Mr. Muthu (44): " i think it's harmless. there are no casino chips or bad people. just playing with frens betting on a can of drink or lunch, is okay. harmless really. my daughter is bright and clever enough not to be addicted to this sort of thing lah hahahahaha".
................................................................................................................................
Pawn Shops Arising
A slew of pawnshops are opening near the IRs recently and business is booming!
Owner of the WeBuyAnything Pawnshop (webuyanthing.com.sg); Mr. KimLian (42) has this to say:
"aiyah, we just trying to earn a living lah! people come to us becoz our evaluation is quick and fast, like fast food service like dat! and our prices are very competative and people will always get a good deal with us one, i dun bluff! business ah? not bad lah! we just opened up our new branch at the other IR! just take the free City Casino Shuttle Bus Service (CCSBS) downstairs and go up to the 8th floor. we will pay for anything! ... eerr... almost anything lah!"
................................................................................................................................
The Unlucky Hand
Minister KamCheong did his walkabout last saturday and decided to try his hand at the blackjack table with his constituents, with the promise of all winning proceeds going to the neighbourhood upgrading scheme.
Mr. KC spoke as he waited for his hand to be dealt:
"i've never been a gambler, but for my constituent's sake, i'm game!"
unfortunately Mr.KC lost $8 before he threw in the towel.
Mr. KC:
"i've never been lucky at buang-luck. i'm a 4-D man myself."
................................................................................................................................
Winds Of Change- Grassroots Style
The grassroots have spawned their own versions of IRs, called The Interconstituent Resident's Chance Committee (IRCC) that has since replaced many of the community centre's more popular activities.
Mdm Hua (65) retiree:
"now we can learn social dancing, learn how to use the internet and try our luck without spending so much money lor! $100? siao ah? can buy al lot of toto and 4-D leh! but nevermind, we only play small small here in the aye-are-xixi, $2 can lieow! most we dare go was $10 last week, when BoChapTan got too excited! hahaha. so here is good lah, no need pay entrance summon and got free sponsored pandan cake and refreshments some more!"
"at least come here we dun need to wear nice nice. shorts and slippers also can! more relaxed like that mah, no stress and can concentrate on your luck." - said Mr. BoChap (66); clad in his stained singlet and kaki-shorts with chinamadekungfuslippers, was a picture of poise and concentration when he threw his first dice of the night.
A planned Interconstituency Competition of Chance (ICC) is in it's initial planning stages now. MP KamCheongKing says:
"i feel it would help to develop further ties with our neighbouring constituents. as well as promote a healthy understanding of the game and bring the family unit closer together. and on a grassroots level, we are able to develop together along with the nation!"
Both Mr.BoChap and Mdm Hua has become quite well-known in these parts of the neighbourhood, for their luck and skill. Mdm Hua, whose nickname is "Mdm HUAT~AH" has this to say about her new-found-fame:
"aiyah! just lucky only mah! hahaha but the trick is to play small, so you can win bigbig!"
wisewords from Mdm Hua indeed.
Last heard, both Mdm Hua and Mr. BoChapTan has been approached by mediacock to cameo in their uncoming television series; The Untouchables Forever. stay tuned ....
................................................................................................................................
Charity Begins With Casino Chips
And now the local charity groups have also gotten into the swing of chance! the Neglected Folk's Knees (NFK), in their recent televised charity show, even offered a top prize of $2,000 wortth of casino credits.
Jason S.B.Swuay (19), a national serviceman who won the coverted top prize by calling into the 1900-hotlines, was a bit disheartened:
"alamak! seebeh jialat like dat leh! never say early early got age limit in casino! win also no use, i too young to enter even the casino front door! and even if i could, where to get the $100 entrance fee? nahbeh! serviceman get how much only? knn! aiyah, might as well sell it all off on yahooauction lah!"
................................................................................................................................
Cashless Gambling To Come Soon?
Discussions are underway right this moment, of incorporating and legalizing Cashless-Gambling (CLG) at your downtown IRs!
much like the old Translink card or Cashtopupcard, with your new IRLink Cards you would be able to store up your credits and gamble away - cash free! (Also usable in most of the shops in the IRs vicinity) but of coz, a debate and discussion is now underway for this endeavour. please do check your local listings for more updated news.
concerns from lobby-groups are that evetually punters are able to tap into their CPF for a chance in a game or two of chance.
Mr.YeowSiew (68):
"i'm a retiree now and i've got nothing to do during the daytime, except for taking care of my grandson when his parents are out working. but with this new opportunity, i can leave AhBoy at the many family day care centres around the IR and try my luck lor! and can buy AhBoy something nice to eat orso. aiyah, so much CPF for what? i want to be able to contribute to my society too! i dun want to feel useless lah...."
Heartwrenching im sure. and as Mr.YeowSiew and his many retiree buddies await the implementation of the newly proposed Senior Citizens Casino Cards (SCCC), we too wait with baited breathe for IRLink cards.
................................................................................................................................
Queuing Up For Chance
Local law enforcement warn of the personal dangers to the upcoming launch promotion of the IRs. crowds are queuing as early as a month prior to the launch outside the front doors of the casinos, with the promise of free spending credits for the first 100 people (only for local applicants, pending checks and approval).
Mr. SeowKeng (32), first in the queue together with his wife; has this to say:
"Why not try my luck? also they are waivering the entrance fee for the lucky first few and the last time i gambled was in '92, when i bot my first and last 4-D ticket. aiyah, win small small only lah, beh-sai only hahaha ... genting highlands dun count right? out of singapore what! ... eh, can dun write that or not ah?..."
Mrs. SeowKeng (27):
"not big problem lah. i just take leave lor. company still paying me to queue up leh! heehee ... and i think i saw my group manager behind the queue around the corner somemore! everybody's doing it, so why not me too! heehee"
as of last check, the queue has drawn as long as the singapore river and the only people taking an opportunity to turn this into profits are the umbrella sellers and Mdm Tong, an entrapeneur (spl) who owns a local chair-making factory and has started Rent-A-Box (RAB), where makeshift shelters made of recycled carton-boxes are available for a affordable rental fee.
Mdm Tong (age unknown):
"our best sellers are the easy foldable chairs with attachable clip for umbrellas. only $45, excluding umbrella. rent-a-box prices depending on size and condition of box. can check my website for pricing and pictures! can also gmail me."
................................................................................................................................
Family Fun At The IRs
Mr. Dalton (36), a local expat has nothing but positive things to say about the IRs:
"tis a great place to bring your family to during the weekend! the kids can watch cartoon movies and my youngest, Jeremy; loves to play in the casino-themed playground! the spinning-casino-chips-ride is his favourite! altho we do try to practise moderation when all he wants to do is ride the darn thing! hahaha. me and the missus can comfortably try our luck at the craps table, with the full knOwledge that our kids are well taken care of. of course the "expat-subsidy" helps nudge us a bit ~lah~, hahahaha"
Further developing the casino-theme that is the rage currently, construction is underway for a new IR/Casino Theme-park, together with the Singapore Tourist Board Of Development and Promotion (STBDP). Tentatively named: Project: SURE-WIN, with casino-themed-rides and fun for the entire family.
A STBDP-Representative says:
"with a marriage of themes between Disneyland and Las Vegas, im sure we will bring in the crowds and introduce them to all that is the unique wonder that is Singapore!"
A IR-Rep has this to add:
"We intend to be the Las Vegas Of Asia!"
Young Jeremy Dalton (6) has only this to say:
"i wanna ride the spining casino chip NOOOOW!"
fun for all in the family, indeed.
................................................................................................................................
New National Campaign
The Singapore Tourist Board Of Development and Promotion (STBDP) today unveiled their new campaign to promote singapore to the world, with it's new tagline:
"Singapore, Take A Gamble With Us!"
"In line with our current policies in tandem with the government's vision for our garden city state and with the irresistable chance at a game of life, we believe with this campaign, we will be able to introduce more people to our small but bustling-with-bucks metropolitan island and we are very excited, yes we are!" - exclaims Ms. SweeSwee (age unknown), branding and promotions manager of STBDP.
A planned official launch of the campaign hit a snag recently when applications to launch the event were turned down by the said IRs.
Anonymous-IR-Representative:
"we dun need their promotion. we can do it all uniquely ourselves."
Anonymous-STBDP-Rep:
"they think they can sustain with their own benefits and perks they give out to foreign players themselves? without our support and subsidy? ungrateful and ignorant basturds!"
................................................................................................................................
Untouchable
And it looks like gambling is here to stay! and i've got my $100 ready in my pocket! who knows, i might even end up as an extra in the new mediacock television recording of The Untouchables Forever! wish me luck!
... signing off ...
................................................................................................................................
yes, i is fullofshitte. but aren't we all? flogging a horse that has yet to be conceived is but the pathetic nature of the average life of a singaporean, when we are subtly nudged into a new buzzword. a new plea. a new common topic or enemy, at a drop of a hat? dun we have anything else better to talk about? heh. i OBVIOUSLY DON'T! AHAHAHAHAHAHA :p
possible news of the future, perhaps?
(pure fiction i made up, i insist, so dun complain me leh. heh)
for aren't we a nation who runs around in circles? heh.
................................................................................................................................
No Harm In Trying Your Luck
Gambling Fever has gripped the nation and its fast becoming the national past time for both the young and old, as anything and everything can be wagered on!
Bets are even placed on who will walk out the casino-floors as winners or losers!
"In the end, high class or low class, as long as it is a win/win situation, we are all okay for it!" - exclaims Mr. CheongTao (34), a reputated reformed underground bookie, now gone legit with his official betting-booth set right outside the front doors of the casinos.
"Aiyoh, no need turf club anymore lieow! too hard to manage and maintain lah. even my son can win his own extra pocket money by playing snakes&ladders with his classmates!" - claims Mr.LuiBeen (43), a former owner of a racehorse.
But Mr. Lui, don't you think this is unhealthy?
Mr. LuiBeen: "How can it be unhealthy? it is all fair and square what! as long as he takes care of his studies and it also depends on his luck orso what. even the garhmen endorse and approve lieow, so what's so wrong about it? better he go out win a little money, than spend all of his time like last time, blogging all day long lor! blog got win money one meh?"
Even his neighbour, Mr. Muthu (who was in the toto queue just behind Mr. LuiBeen) has this to share about the new game of chance that is all the rage in his daughter's school; The "Guess What Bus Number That's Gonna Come Next" (GWBNGCN) - Game!
Mr. Muthu (44): " i think it's harmless. there are no casino chips or bad people. just playing with frens betting on a can of drink or lunch, is okay. harmless really. my daughter is bright and clever enough not to be addicted to this sort of thing lah hahahahaha".
................................................................................................................................
Pawn Shops Arising
A slew of pawnshops are opening near the IRs recently and business is booming!
Owner of the WeBuyAnything Pawnshop (webuyanthing.com.sg); Mr. KimLian (42) has this to say:
"aiyah, we just trying to earn a living lah! people come to us becoz our evaluation is quick and fast, like fast food service like dat! and our prices are very competative and people will always get a good deal with us one, i dun bluff! business ah? not bad lah! we just opened up our new branch at the other IR! just take the free City Casino Shuttle Bus Service (CCSBS) downstairs and go up to the 8th floor. we will pay for anything! ... eerr... almost anything lah!"
................................................................................................................................
The Unlucky Hand
Minister KamCheong did his walkabout last saturday and decided to try his hand at the blackjack table with his constituents, with the promise of all winning proceeds going to the neighbourhood upgrading scheme.
Mr. KC spoke as he waited for his hand to be dealt:
"i've never been a gambler, but for my constituent's sake, i'm game!"
unfortunately Mr.KC lost $8 before he threw in the towel.
Mr. KC:
"i've never been lucky at buang-luck. i'm a 4-D man myself."
................................................................................................................................
Winds Of Change- Grassroots Style
The grassroots have spawned their own versions of IRs, called The Interconstituent Resident's Chance Committee (IRCC) that has since replaced many of the community centre's more popular activities.
Mdm Hua (65) retiree:
"now we can learn social dancing, learn how to use the internet and try our luck without spending so much money lor! $100? siao ah? can buy al lot of toto and 4-D leh! but nevermind, we only play small small here in the aye-are-xixi, $2 can lieow! most we dare go was $10 last week, when BoChapTan got too excited! hahaha. so here is good lah, no need pay entrance summon and got free sponsored pandan cake and refreshments some more!"
"at least come here we dun need to wear nice nice. shorts and slippers also can! more relaxed like that mah, no stress and can concentrate on your luck." - said Mr. BoChap (66); clad in his stained singlet and kaki-shorts with chinamadekungfuslippers, was a picture of poise and concentration when he threw his first dice of the night.
A planned Interconstituency Competition of Chance (ICC) is in it's initial planning stages now. MP KamCheongKing says:
"i feel it would help to develop further ties with our neighbouring constituents. as well as promote a healthy understanding of the game and bring the family unit closer together. and on a grassroots level, we are able to develop together along with the nation!"
Both Mr.BoChap and Mdm Hua has become quite well-known in these parts of the neighbourhood, for their luck and skill. Mdm Hua, whose nickname is "Mdm HUAT~AH" has this to say about her new-found-fame:
"aiyah! just lucky only mah! hahaha but the trick is to play small, so you can win bigbig!"
wisewords from Mdm Hua indeed.
Last heard, both Mdm Hua and Mr. BoChapTan has been approached by mediacock to cameo in their uncoming television series; The Untouchables Forever. stay tuned ....
................................................................................................................................
Charity Begins With Casino Chips
And now the local charity groups have also gotten into the swing of chance! the Neglected Folk's Knees (NFK), in their recent televised charity show, even offered a top prize of $2,000 wortth of casino credits.
Jason S.B.Swuay (19), a national serviceman who won the coverted top prize by calling into the 1900-hotlines, was a bit disheartened:
"alamak! seebeh jialat like dat leh! never say early early got age limit in casino! win also no use, i too young to enter even the casino front door! and even if i could, where to get the $100 entrance fee? nahbeh! serviceman get how much only? knn! aiyah, might as well sell it all off on yahooauction lah!"
................................................................................................................................
Cashless Gambling To Come Soon?
Discussions are underway right this moment, of incorporating and legalizing Cashless-Gambling (CLG) at your downtown IRs!
much like the old Translink card or Cashtopupcard, with your new IRLink Cards you would be able to store up your credits and gamble away - cash free! (Also usable in most of the shops in the IRs vicinity) but of coz, a debate and discussion is now underway for this endeavour. please do check your local listings for more updated news.
concerns from lobby-groups are that evetually punters are able to tap into their CPF for a chance in a game or two of chance.
Mr.YeowSiew (68):
"i'm a retiree now and i've got nothing to do during the daytime, except for taking care of my grandson when his parents are out working. but with this new opportunity, i can leave AhBoy at the many family day care centres around the IR and try my luck lor! and can buy AhBoy something nice to eat orso. aiyah, so much CPF for what? i want to be able to contribute to my society too! i dun want to feel useless lah...."
Heartwrenching im sure. and as Mr.YeowSiew and his many retiree buddies await the implementation of the newly proposed Senior Citizens Casino Cards (SCCC), we too wait with baited breathe for IRLink cards.
................................................................................................................................
Queuing Up For Chance
Local law enforcement warn of the personal dangers to the upcoming launch promotion of the IRs. crowds are queuing as early as a month prior to the launch outside the front doors of the casinos, with the promise of free spending credits for the first 100 people (only for local applicants, pending checks and approval).
Mr. SeowKeng (32), first in the queue together with his wife; has this to say:
"Why not try my luck? also they are waivering the entrance fee for the lucky first few and the last time i gambled was in '92, when i bot my first and last 4-D ticket. aiyah, win small small only lah, beh-sai only hahaha ... genting highlands dun count right? out of singapore what! ... eh, can dun write that or not ah?..."
Mrs. SeowKeng (27):
"not big problem lah. i just take leave lor. company still paying me to queue up leh! heehee ... and i think i saw my group manager behind the queue around the corner somemore! everybody's doing it, so why not me too! heehee"
as of last check, the queue has drawn as long as the singapore river and the only people taking an opportunity to turn this into profits are the umbrella sellers and Mdm Tong, an entrapeneur (spl) who owns a local chair-making factory and has started Rent-A-Box (RAB), where makeshift shelters made of recycled carton-boxes are available for a affordable rental fee.
Mdm Tong (age unknown):
"our best sellers are the easy foldable chairs with attachable clip for umbrellas. only $45, excluding umbrella. rent-a-box prices depending on size and condition of box. can check my website for pricing and pictures! can also gmail me."
................................................................................................................................
Family Fun At The IRs
Mr. Dalton (36), a local expat has nothing but positive things to say about the IRs:
"tis a great place to bring your family to during the weekend! the kids can watch cartoon movies and my youngest, Jeremy; loves to play in the casino-themed playground! the spinning-casino-chips-ride is his favourite! altho we do try to practise moderation when all he wants to do is ride the darn thing! hahaha. me and the missus can comfortably try our luck at the craps table, with the full knOwledge that our kids are well taken care of. of course the "expat-subsidy" helps nudge us a bit ~lah~, hahahaha"
Further developing the casino-theme that is the rage currently, construction is underway for a new IR/Casino Theme-park, together with the Singapore Tourist Board Of Development and Promotion (STBDP). Tentatively named: Project: SURE-WIN, with casino-themed-rides and fun for the entire family.
A STBDP-Representative says:
"with a marriage of themes between Disneyland and Las Vegas, im sure we will bring in the crowds and introduce them to all that is the unique wonder that is Singapore!"
A IR-Rep has this to add:
"We intend to be the Las Vegas Of Asia!"
Young Jeremy Dalton (6) has only this to say:
"i wanna ride the spining casino chip NOOOOW!"
fun for all in the family, indeed.
................................................................................................................................
New National Campaign
The Singapore Tourist Board Of Development and Promotion (STBDP) today unveiled their new campaign to promote singapore to the world, with it's new tagline:
"Singapore, Take A Gamble With Us!"
"In line with our current policies in tandem with the government's vision for our garden city state and with the irresistable chance at a game of life, we believe with this campaign, we will be able to introduce more people to our small but bustling-with-bucks metropolitan island and we are very excited, yes we are!" - exclaims Ms. SweeSwee (age unknown), branding and promotions manager of STBDP.
A planned official launch of the campaign hit a snag recently when applications to launch the event were turned down by the said IRs.
Anonymous-IR-Representative:
"we dun need their promotion. we can do it all uniquely ourselves."
Anonymous-STBDP-Rep:
"they think they can sustain with their own benefits and perks they give out to foreign players themselves? without our support and subsidy? ungrateful and ignorant basturds!"
................................................................................................................................
Untouchable
And it looks like gambling is here to stay! and i've got my $100 ready in my pocket! who knows, i might even end up as an extra in the new mediacock television recording of The Untouchables Forever! wish me luck!
... signing off ...
................................................................................................................................
yes, i is fullofshitte. but aren't we all? flogging a horse that has yet to be conceived is but the pathetic nature of the average life of a singaporean, when we are subtly nudged into a new buzzword. a new plea. a new common topic or enemy, at a drop of a hat? dun we have anything else better to talk about? heh. i OBVIOUSLY DON'T! AHAHAHAHAHAHA :p
