> patience, my ass
Impatience always seem to get the better of me, regardless of whatever situation i might be involved in, directly or indirectly ... and itz all due to a result of "judgement", whereby you/one "judge" whether the situation requires the appropriate response and time-reactions, hence the emergence of "impatience" ... am i losing anybody here?
i know i am lost already ...
the dude behind the counter is reacting too slow
the queue is moving way too slow
it all hasta do with "speed", innit? of the expectation one imposes on others? where something you can do in a reasonable time, takes muthafcukin too long when other's do it? heck, im guilty of that as heck ... dun tell me you don't do that too?
don't bluff.
heh.
or sometimes it's about the "judgement call" of others. for when their own judegments fail them and we have to suffer for that? ... "selflessness" if only you are unaffected .. for if you have all the time in the world to wait, cool ... but if ya don't?
dagger-stares
hands on waists
head shaking and *tsk-tsk-ing*
dun bluff.
heh.
that is why i KNOW i will never drive a vehicle. i would be the blardy most impatient-mofo on them tarred streets! horns ablazin', middle finger raised and rants and shouts above the din of my happenin' car-stereo ... no sir-ree-bob!
some might say: tis becoz of my anger issues that causes the impatience ... but then again, consider this: it's becoz i am impatient, that's why i get angry?
heck! am already getting tired and pissin' meself off running around in circles; at 420am in the morn; with this inane entry (and still not being able to express what i truly wanted to, in the first blardy place) ... and as impatient as i am now, i can't wait to end off this entry, regardless if there's a decent "end" to it at all ... does it matter? :p
(the above was written and published on my multiply last night/this morning and i've decided not to amend it in any way .. but instead add on to it, with a "few heated words" i scribbled down during my trip to the Singapore General Hospital with my dad on monday and my reactions to the peeps behind the counters... read on)
my patience was tested severely this monday afternoon, while accompanying me dad for his check-up.
like brainless cattle we were herded from floor to floor, counter to counter by irate staff behind the counter, stone faced and mayhap a little too irate and flustered ... or maybe im too sensitive to things like these?
im not looking for a detailed anaylysis of hospital-travel-routes nor am i asking for how many paces it would take before i reach the next counter, but for fcuks'sake; at least provide clearer directions, innit? the same can be said of my own experiences with my neighbourhood polyclinic ... whereby we are spoken to as if we've been to the clinic every fcuking single day of our lives like that! a little patience (quite the irony this, eh?) would be great, before you go and test mine ... heck, ya dun even need to smile, if it be a plastic-one ... and we dun even need a "good afternoon how are you" or anything like that, 'coz fer shure it has/had been a hardassday's work for ya, right?
it matters not the pleasantries and cordiality, if it be plastic. (but even plastic can go quite a ways, in this day and age)
but i'd rather be given the benefit of doubt rather than be treated like a blardy fcukin' fool and a parasite. (and OF COZ im over-reacting to all these)
understand we are not here (at the hospital) for "fun". we are not here on a "day tour". we are NOT here to "claim free gifts" or anything even close to that.
my/our father is sick. and we are worried and concerned. we are muthafcuking worried. and i admit im scared shitte of it all ...
so FCUK YOU if you think we'd take this shitte in our faces.
... but of coz we do, becoz why make a big fuss about it, huh? why create a scene in a hospital, for fcuks' sake? no need to make like a chinese television drama, innit? and for that we swallow it all? for the sake of my dad's and ours and everyone else's peace, i swallow my anger? FOR YOU? and my anger and impatience had been replaced with forced-apathy?
or of coz i could blog about it. so fcuking WHAT? to what end? like who gives a shitte, innit?
i do.
even if im the only one who does.
to placate things, my sis said that mayhap they weren't "professional nurses" and perhaps it is the unfortunate mindset of a "civil servant" (generic term for big organization workpaths) and we are but freeloaders standing in queue at the charity soup-kitchen-buffet-line? to be pushed forward and off as soon as we open our mouths? FCUK YOU (if that be the case).
the irony being, we'd get more "service" (or perhaps even "fake-compassion") from the "private sector" = becoz we pay for it? money talks? money offers compassion and patience? ... or perhaps in the end, it's just about differing individuals we happen to cross at certain times in our lives? that molds our "impression" and hence impede our "judgements"? i deny not that scenario ... for each one's own experience is as unique as a singular snowflake, innit? even tho we all know it doesn't snow in singapore ... heh.
note: *my dad is a gregarious and friendly bloke. and is hardly overtly senile and is neither loud nor arrogant and condescending when he interacts with folks* - so he hardly (if ever) rubs people the wrong way - just so you know
whereas i on the other hand, have grown seriously impatient with the majority around me ... and yes i have issues ... and nobody's out there helping as well ...
BUT to be totally FAIR, there WERE a coupla GEMS at SGH, which made it all good, fine and dandy-wandy:
the lady at the ground floor counter at the Heart Center, was totally friendly, witty and patient. joked with my dad and us ... and even with the string of peeps waiting, she showed hardly any signs of stress or fluster ...
and the exceptional lady who took my dad's blood samples ... gregarious and friendly, even recommended us where to go for cheap and good food! of coz there's more than just mundane banter, for her sensitive and experienced side showed; when she (with her small talk) distracted my dad from the blood-taking (for which he knew what she was doing but, was appreciative anyways)
and for both of them, i/we hear how they interact with other people as well ... and we spent 4hours in total at SGH, so we get to hear quite a bit ... heh :p
at the end of the day, my dad made the ultimate observation: that the first lady we had encountered (the rude and impatient one) was actually pregnant ... and that mayhap that was the reason why she "acted" the way she did ... which i think was hilarious, coz in the end: she had an excuse while i was the impatient one? muahahahaha
water under the rickety-wooden-bridge.
i ask not for fcuking sympathy. i ask for understanding and the doubt of compassion.
and i only ask for my dad to be well ... and be treated well ... that is all.
i know i am lost already ...
the dude behind the counter is reacting too slow
the queue is moving way too slow
it all hasta do with "speed", innit? of the expectation one imposes on others? where something you can do in a reasonable time, takes muthafcukin too long when other's do it? heck, im guilty of that as heck ... dun tell me you don't do that too?
don't bluff.
heh.
or sometimes it's about the "judgement call" of others. for when their own judegments fail them and we have to suffer for that? ... "selflessness" if only you are unaffected .. for if you have all the time in the world to wait, cool ... but if ya don't?
dagger-stares
hands on waists
head shaking and *tsk-tsk-ing*
dun bluff.
heh.
that is why i KNOW i will never drive a vehicle. i would be the blardy most impatient-mofo on them tarred streets! horns ablazin', middle finger raised and rants and shouts above the din of my happenin' car-stereo ... no sir-ree-bob!
some might say: tis becoz of my anger issues that causes the impatience ... but then again, consider this: it's becoz i am impatient, that's why i get angry?
heck! am already getting tired and pissin' meself off running around in circles; at 420am in the morn; with this inane entry (and still not being able to express what i truly wanted to, in the first blardy place) ... and as impatient as i am now, i can't wait to end off this entry, regardless if there's a decent "end" to it at all ... does it matter? :p
(the above was written and published on my multiply last night/this morning and i've decided not to amend it in any way .. but instead add on to it, with a "few heated words" i scribbled down during my trip to the Singapore General Hospital with my dad on monday and my reactions to the peeps behind the counters... read on)
my patience was tested severely this monday afternoon, while accompanying me dad for his check-up.like brainless cattle we were herded from floor to floor, counter to counter by irate staff behind the counter, stone faced and mayhap a little too irate and flustered ... or maybe im too sensitive to things like these?
im not looking for a detailed anaylysis of hospital-travel-routes nor am i asking for how many paces it would take before i reach the next counter, but for fcuks'sake; at least provide clearer directions, innit? the same can be said of my own experiences with my neighbourhood polyclinic ... whereby we are spoken to as if we've been to the clinic every fcuking single day of our lives like that! a little patience (quite the irony this, eh?) would be great, before you go and test mine ... heck, ya dun even need to smile, if it be a plastic-one ... and we dun even need a "good afternoon how are you" or anything like that, 'coz fer shure it has/had been a hardassday's work for ya, right?
it matters not the pleasantries and cordiality, if it be plastic. (but even plastic can go quite a ways, in this day and age)
but i'd rather be given the benefit of doubt rather than be treated like a blardy fcukin' fool and a parasite. (and OF COZ im over-reacting to all these)
understand we are not here (at the hospital) for "fun". we are not here on a "day tour". we are NOT here to "claim free gifts" or anything even close to that.
my/our father is sick. and we are worried and concerned. we are muthafcuking worried. and i admit im scared shitte of it all ...
so FCUK YOU if you think we'd take this shitte in our faces.
... but of coz we do, becoz why make a big fuss about it, huh? why create a scene in a hospital, for fcuks' sake? no need to make like a chinese television drama, innit? and for that we swallow it all? for the sake of my dad's and ours and everyone else's peace, i swallow my anger? FOR YOU? and my anger and impatience had been replaced with forced-apathy?
or of coz i could blog about it. so fcuking WHAT? to what end? like who gives a shitte, innit?
i do.
even if im the only one who does.
to placate things, my sis said that mayhap they weren't "professional nurses" and perhaps it is the unfortunate mindset of a "civil servant" (generic term for big organization workpaths) and we are but freeloaders standing in queue at the charity soup-kitchen-buffet-line? to be pushed forward and off as soon as we open our mouths? FCUK YOU (if that be the case).
the irony being, we'd get more "service" (or perhaps even "fake-compassion") from the "private sector" = becoz we pay for it? money talks? money offers compassion and patience? ... or perhaps in the end, it's just about differing individuals we happen to cross at certain times in our lives? that molds our "impression" and hence impede our "judgements"? i deny not that scenario ... for each one's own experience is as unique as a singular snowflake, innit? even tho we all know it doesn't snow in singapore ... heh.
note: *my dad is a gregarious and friendly bloke. and is hardly overtly senile and is neither loud nor arrogant and condescending when he interacts with folks* - so he hardly (if ever) rubs people the wrong way - just so you know
whereas i on the other hand, have grown seriously impatient with the majority around me ... and yes i have issues ... and nobody's out there helping as well ...
BUT to be totally FAIR, there WERE a coupla GEMS at SGH, which made it all good, fine and dandy-wandy:
the lady at the ground floor counter at the Heart Center, was totally friendly, witty and patient. joked with my dad and us ... and even with the string of peeps waiting, she showed hardly any signs of stress or fluster ...
and the exceptional lady who took my dad's blood samples ... gregarious and friendly, even recommended us where to go for cheap and good food! of coz there's more than just mundane banter, for her sensitive and experienced side showed; when she (with her small talk) distracted my dad from the blood-taking (for which he knew what she was doing but, was appreciative anyways)
and for both of them, i/we hear how they interact with other people as well ... and we spent 4hours in total at SGH, so we get to hear quite a bit ... heh :p
at the end of the day, my dad made the ultimate observation: that the first lady we had encountered (the rude and impatient one) was actually pregnant ... and that mayhap that was the reason why she "acted" the way she did ... which i think was hilarious, coz in the end: she had an excuse while i was the impatient one? muahahahaha
water under the rickety-wooden-bridge.
i ask not for fcuking sympathy. i ask for understanding and the doubt of compassion.
and i only ask for my dad to be well ... and be treated well ... that is all.
