> keepin' pace
walked with my dad to the neighbourhood central for dinner earlier in the evening ... just near the start of the walk; he asked me to slow down my pace, as he had trouble keeping up ... i froze for an instant (instantaneously cursing myself for forgetting about his heart problems) and apologized. he mentioned t'was okay and that his regular pace was faster as well ... as was mine ...
from that moment on, my pace was ground to a near-dragging-halt; a slow languid walk to the foodcourt and an even slower meal ... it felt somewhat "different", more so my recent grappling with trying to adopt a slower-pace-of-life (pending my own health issues) ... it felt; "fine" ... it felt like it was meant to be ...
my runaway-train-of-thought then stopped at the station-of-revelation:
why is there a need to walk so fast, when yet im going nowhere?
metaphysically, of coz ...
looking at my dad and his seeming healthy exterior, drove home the reality of the situation, and of my own as well ... things are never quite the way they seem ... and somehow, i wasn't alone ... and that put a sense of "peace" in my mind and heart, as "i took a break at the station-of-revelation" ...
on the way home, walking at a snail's pace, with 2 bags of rice we had bought from the local "shop'n'save" (grocery store); plastic-bags cutting into my hands (normally i'd walk-post-haste back home if i were carrying sucha load) ... we ended up admiring the trees lined along the path on the way home ... dad pointed out to the starfruit-trees, jackfruit tree and chi-ku-tree (recognizing them from his kampung childhood days, most probably) ... he then mentioned that tis becoz of his recent health and the slower walking pace; that he had actually slowed down and noticed the fruit-trees (when he hadn't before) ...
my train-of-thought still at the station-of-revelation:
have i rushed past my own life, to miss out on the lil wonders surrounding me?
and as i stared into the darkness of the dancing leaves ... i smiled a cryptic-smile to myself, knowing full well the answer ... and the smile turns to a non-accusing serene-yet-sombre tone ... and the weight and pain of the 2 bags of rice didn't seem to bother me that much any more ...
sitting in front of my Mac past the hour of midnight, i am still learning what exactly "nothing else matters"; means to me (as i've oft said; as of late) ... but this much is clear:
for in life; tho we might be bogged down, let the 'journey' be as important as the 'destination'.
cliched as it may sound to you, it is not ~ to me ... and i let my train cruise down the rickety-tracks ... and instead of looking at my watch and wondering when will it be when i arrive, i should look out of the window and take in the scenary, whatever it may be ...
from that moment on, my pace was ground to a near-dragging-halt; a slow languid walk to the foodcourt and an even slower meal ... it felt somewhat "different", more so my recent grappling with trying to adopt a slower-pace-of-life (pending my own health issues) ... it felt; "fine" ... it felt like it was meant to be ...
why is there a need to walk so fast, when yet im going nowhere?
metaphysically, of coz ...
looking at my dad and his seeming healthy exterior, drove home the reality of the situation, and of my own as well ... things are never quite the way they seem ... and somehow, i wasn't alone ... and that put a sense of "peace" in my mind and heart, as "i took a break at the station-of-revelation" ...
on the way home, walking at a snail's pace, with 2 bags of rice we had bought from the local "shop'n'save" (grocery store); plastic-bags cutting into my hands (normally i'd walk-post-haste back home if i were carrying sucha load) ... we ended up admiring the trees lined along the path on the way home ... dad pointed out to the starfruit-trees, jackfruit tree and chi-ku-tree (recognizing them from his kampung childhood days, most probably) ... he then mentioned that tis becoz of his recent health and the slower walking pace; that he had actually slowed down and noticed the fruit-trees (when he hadn't before) ...
have i rushed past my own life, to miss out on the lil wonders surrounding me?
and as i stared into the darkness of the dancing leaves ... i smiled a cryptic-smile to myself, knowing full well the answer ... and the smile turns to a non-accusing serene-yet-sombre tone ... and the weight and pain of the 2 bags of rice didn't seem to bother me that much any more ...
sitting in front of my Mac past the hour of midnight, i am still learning what exactly "nothing else matters"; means to me (as i've oft said; as of late) ... but this much is clear:
cliched as it may sound to you, it is not ~ to me ... and i let my train cruise down the rickety-tracks ... and instead of looking at my watch and wondering when will it be when i arrive, i should look out of the window and take in the scenary, whatever it may be ...
