resolutions

i suck at resolutions. mainly becoz i forget about them once i make them (:p) or mayhap they weren't as important as i'd thought they were when i conjured them all up in the first place, innit? ... or mayhap senility has set in and im sitting here blogging this forgetting that im still wrapped my pastel-green-colored bath-towel (a tad chilly, no? *heh*) = yes, a mental image to start off your 2008-with ... you're welcomed and tis my pleasure muahahahaha
/// CLICK ON IF YOU DARE

NOTHING LIKE A FINE WHINE
one thing i miss about "blogging", is the "whining". im a whiner. really. i read the posts of this blog's earlier incarnation/s (please don't - just take my word for it and spare yourself the immaculate torture) and i shudder. roller-coaster-shivers up and down my spine. (*slaps-palm-on-forehead*). i re-read some of them and i want to slap myself sometimes LOL ... or perhaps one of my past resolutions was to NOT WHINE so much? (but im not too sure and i forget ... and this post is teetering dangerously down that path anyways *cough* BE WARNED) ... but the lingering phantom-sensation i have of "whining", is that it was is pretty liberating, in a warped-personal-way. (you say "loser-musings", i say "cyber-exorcize")

THE TANGY TASTE OF TRUTH
but once i started this current path down more of a news-presentation-styled format, i don't whine as much, i reckon (and yes, i recognize i may yet be deluding myself LOL). and i don't whine much (now) becoz, if tis something that i personally don't like, i don't blog about it, simple. unless it really gets to me, then i let thy demons come out to play. sometimes. ironically; in-lieu of censoring myself, i clam up. i really don't need to say something "sucks" or something had "raped my childhood memories" etc, becoz if i cannot provide a tangible rationale for those statements, then im just wanking off to the computer-screen, innit? IMHO, of coz, of coz :p ... and i've realized that tis hard to be two-faced about it (hell, i've smiled at clients in the past for waaaaay too long to want to do it again now LOL :p).

... altho be not mistaken, for there may be/are heap-loads of news that i might have missed along the way, for which i sometimes wished i didn't need to eatshitsleep and blog about them all for the entire day (or have time to kitbash my neglected 1/6-figures, 'natch :p) ... or maybe in my advancing age (*shuddup*), speaking the "truth" has become such an easier exercise/option, than the notion and task of apple-polishing or asskissing, for the sake of (can't / don't need to / won't do it) ... and the well-worn-notion of: "if you've got nothing nice to say about something, then don't." ... but then again, tis all at the whim of a madblogman, ennit? (you say "mood-swings", i say "spontaneous-inspiration")

but of coz everyone entitled to their own opinions, innit? the beauty of "free speech", for which the price need only be "responsibility", yeh? IMHO anyways :)

SAY AGAIN?
the fascinating thing about the cyberhighway is, you're reading what a person "says" in written-form, but can you ever truly know what he/she is feeling exactly? or trying to communicate across; when he/she publishes the post? (hence my abundance of smilies and whatnot, which i know riles up a few of my readers LOL :p). but online-communication has it's "advantages" too ... i do a ":p" online, and it may be interpreted as a tongue-in-cheek-smiley ... i do it in "real-life" (ie: sticking my tongue-out) and folks will be looking at me in quasi-horror (ie: a grownassman trying to "act cute") and i ain't exactly a Takeshi Kaneshiro, ya feel me? LOL

DAYS OF WHINE AND ROSES
after a fashion, "news-blogging" can be quite "drama" ("cut-throat" may be overstating it). every post and email-communication a possible/potiential soap-opera scripted-moment. missing a smiley and ya think they're dissing you. or a random ";p" and ya think someone's trying to be fresh with you. (but nobody ever gets fresh with me, i wonder why? *finger-twirling-hair*). in retrospective, 2007 had it's fair share of dramas. some unintentional, some intentional (i suspect). and like all long-drawn-out daytime-soaps, tis all about unresolved miscommunications. (IMO - "miscommunication" just means the parties involved are too prideful and stubborn to make/take the step to resolve any given situation.) heh.

TAKING A CHILL-PILL
somebody once told me to "not take it too personally", (ie: online trangressions) but how can i not? for it IS personal, for everything that i blog about is a reaction or connection i have with = mild or intense; it matters not in the endgame. if i don't "feel" for it (on any tangible or intangible level), then it'll be just a cut'n'paste-blog, ennit? (no disrespect to the countless C&Ps out there in cyberland, yeh? :p) and neither dare i claim to be a "noble" nor "generous" man. i have my quirks. i have my patience and tolerance (or lack thereof). i am as kind to others, as they have unto me. (gawd, this is starting to read like a friendster-self-description intro, dunnit? HAH).

daymn. im a whiney-baztich. heh.

iCLING
am i the same person when i blog, versus "real-life"? frankly, i wouldn't know for certain ... i need to ask the folks i've personally met up for coffee to tell me LOL. perception is key, specifically online, i guess. and comfort. comfort is important, IMHO. and in this day-and-cyber-age of one-blogpost-stands, it makes a difference to have to want to make a "relationship" work.(for which i wholey understand not everyone's out to HAVE a relationship, and i really don't want to come off sounding like the clingy-sort LOL).

oops. too late. daymn.

but then again, it may be is about "loyalty" too, innit? an unfortunate part of real-life made manifest online, IMO. but don't we all belong in The Brotherhood Of Vinyl ©? heh. of coz im may be under the disillusion that both cyber and real worlds are on parallel earths ... hhmm.

RESOLUTIONS
i guess the only truer "effective" form of resolution/s is to actually put them in action. to do it and not only just talk about it/them. and perhaps they'll be less disappointments when the year winds down to a close and you look back upon your past year and judge yourself for the things that you didn't do that you've said you wanted to, rather than celebrate the victories which made the year a fruitful one. sounds defeatist? perhaps. better than knocking yourself over it (unless it spurs you on to try harder again, of coz) and i wanna be able to trumpet my little victories! (but that's in another post, this is a whiney-post afterall. muahahahaha)

THE EVOLUTION OF ME, MYSELF AND I
i've just realized (as im reading this post twice-over before publishing it), that i've used a lot of "i" ... tis not narcissism, but a simple reality that this blog afterall IS (still) personal, and i've since learnt to embrace it as such, even when i (eventually) go "commercial" (ie: with ads and sponsors = i wish! LOL) ... but that's a path to be tread when tis time for the next evolution ... and will 2008 be that time? ... for now, thank YOU for bearing with posts like this :p

and for those who'd lament that i've taken away 1/2 an hour "of their lives they'll never be able to get back"; by reading all these? fret not, for i am considering starting yet another personal blog (along with my other 30+ blogs *GASP*) specifically for this malady = *i-heart-blogs* and 2007 was the Year Of The Blogs for me :)

YOUR TURN
and so what was/is YOUR resolution for 2008?

... and no, this post was not blogged while i was wrapped in a pastel-green-towel ... it's baby-blue. HAH

j/k :p